This was actually on the news. Seriously.

Author: andydougan

Date: July 13, 2001

by andydougan
7-13-01
BBC News with Huw Edwards
People mysteriously die after drinking Red Bull! John Pienaar has a stupid moustache! John!
I'm here in Sweden with the CEO of Red Bull Corporation. So, who's been a naughty boy, then?
Not me! It's not the Red Bull that makes people die. It's the vodka they put in it, which is the only way they can bear the taste. Rd Bull contains taurine, which is very nutritious.
Okay, so you'd be willing to let your daughter drink a can on international television?
Well, yeah, as long as I'm not actually in the vicinity when she opens it. Those fumes could level a city.