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| Uh oh! Channel 4 is showing "Amanda Platell's Secret Diary, Featuring Ronnie the Three-Legged Cat"! It's supposed to dish some real dirt on me! | |
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| Portillo is a backstabbing careerist who is uncommitted to the principles of Conservatism. He also has a quiff. | |
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| So what? There's only one person in the world who ever believed otherwise, and he's of no significance. | |
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| Michael! How...how could you?! | |
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