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Kenneth Clarke, Conservative leadership hopeful, on the campaign trail
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| If I become Prime Minister, I may re-introduce student grants. | |
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| Note the "may". I put that in because I have no intention whatsoever of reintroducing grants, and am only lying to fool idiots like you. | |
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| I'm sold! You have my vote! | |
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| I love being in a party whose members are all senile... | |
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| Uh oh, I think I put Tiddles in the microwave again... | |
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