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| Jennie Bond is on the scene. | |
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| Sheep gather to look at a betty in the distance! | |
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| People wave around pieces of paper with symbolic colours on them!!! | |
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| Elton John, Phil Collins, Will Young and other similar vermin sing really bad songs for a bored monarch!!!!! | |
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| Oh, and four people are killed in Ulster to mark the jubilee. Anyway, back to the news!!!!!!! | |
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