All comics by applesauce55

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by applesauce55
7-14-02
Would you like me to eat you?
What the hell do I look like? Chow mein??
No, an eggroll.
What the fuck?
Sorry...my bad...
Yeah...no problem.

 

by applesauce55
7-14-02
Hey man, anybody ever tell you that you look like that one squirell from threebrain.com?
Oh yeah...the one that goes WEEEEEE!
Yeah, that one.
No, but has anybody ever told you it looks like you have a big, white dildo growing out of your head?
Watch out, I'm crazy man!
...

 

by applesauce55
7-14-02
Beware...
Wow, those are some funky moves you have there.
The priest are roaming...
Oh my God! Don't touch me! Don't touch me!
Ha-ha...I'm not going to touch you my good man.
YOU could be next!
Oh God...no!
Mmmm...

 

by applesauce55
7-14-02
They might be able to kill a black man in a movie, but they can't kill him in a comic!
That's what YOU think!
Bitch, shit your cracker ass down. And how the hell did you know what I just thought??
It's a comic, I can see your every thought...now DIE!
CRAZY WHITE GIRL!
Pussy!

 

by applesauce55
7-14-02
Uh...uh...uh!!!
Dude, what the...
Loose screw.
Ha-ha...loose screw my mechanical ass! I caught you in the actiooonnn...ohh yeah!
Come on man!
Heh, chill out. Happens to the best of us. You might wanna use a little oil next time. *wink wink*

 

by applesauce55
7-14-02
Da-Gang is always lookin' for some play...
Yo Malik, where Nforcer be at?
I don't know playa. Last I heard he was pimpin' on some tight ass females down at the Disney store.
Unfortunately, Nforcer lost his game and now he needs help to find it.
Hey baby, wanna sit in Daddy's lap?
My daddy said I shouldn't talk to strangers...
Malik and the rest of Da-Gang was his only hope...(cont'd)
I have no game...
Yo, Nforcer, some playa was lookin' for ya. Forget him though. Me and the boyz wanna hang. You down with that?

 

by applesauce55
7-14-02
Malik knew this was serious...
I lost my game, playa.
This is serious. I better get the boyz.
It was up to Chino to get the word started.
Yo Chino, Nforcer lost his game. Go spread the word. Werd?
Damn, yo...werd!
Upon Chino's arrival, he was relieved when he found out that his game would soon be releaved. (cont'd)
Yo, Notorious Jew! We got a problem. Nforcer lost his game. He can't be no player if he aint got no game. Go get those playas, Nacho, Cheech, and Da Rat!
Don't worry playa. Malik was in a panic and my boy rang me up. Those playas are already on there way to help.

 

by applesauce55
7-14-02
In an effortless attempt, Nacho, Cheech, and Da Rat sent their messenger to recite the secret code so that Nforcer's game would be in tact once again.
...
We be Da-Gang. You got a wang. You will always be a playa, playa. Man, it aint no thang.
Nforcer felt alive once again. Soon, he would own all games of games. That's just how good his game was.
Yo! Thanks playa!
Hey, no problem. Go get your mack on, playa.
...we didn't say game was priceless...(End...da-gang.net ownz you, PLAYA!)
Hey baby...
Two dolla sucky sucky...four dolla...I give it to youuu, yeah?

 

by applesauce55
7-15-02
I have a pretty big package for a bunny.
I eat cow shit.
You win.
?
Note to self...shit breath is not acceptable.
Yeah, I'm the man...fly.

 

by applesauce55
7-15-02
Look, I know you were faking lastnight, but I forgive you.
What do you...
Oh, you weren't faking!?
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...
I bought a...new...Austin Power's penis pump at Spencers...

 

by applesauce55
7-15-02
You look like you need a hug little girl!
You look like a crack head that needs his ass kicked.
Well, that wasn't very nice.
Don't call me a little girl.
You look like you need a hug you ugly, fat faced, heffer dress wearin', chunked out girl who really looks like a guy and hurt Teddy's feelings girl.
Get help.

 

by applesauce55
7-17-02
The reaper wants his ex to forgive him for his wrong doings.
Why do birds suddenly appear...
He just never seems to get it right.
every time you are near. Just like me, they long to peck you in your head!!!
Unfortunately, his ex has had enough.
Fuck me.
You call this romance?

 

by applesauce55
8-22-02
In a world that almost does not exist...
Mark...I...I love you.
!
I love you too, baby.
the lady gets her turn.
I am SO getting laid.
*sigh*

 

by applesauce55
8-22-02
What do you want?
Gabe, why are you always so down?
Because of fucknuts like you.
Why bring the nuts into this? Are you jealous of my nuts?
Yes, I am jealous of your...
HAIRY NUTS IN YO MOUTH! Hahaha...you stupid, fickle human you.

 

by applesauce55
8-22-02
One, innocent little girl--looking for answers.
Mr. Finger Puppet Man, why are people so mean?
One exaggerated answer.
Long, long ago there was God. And God made all things perfect. Then Adam and Eve just had to go and mess everything up. Ain't life a bitch?
...
Two minds corrupted.
Here kid, write this down. M-A-S-T-U-R-B-A-T-I-O-N.
Like I don't know what that is.

 

by applesauce55
10-07-02
Steve, why are you so mean?
Why don't you have a neck?
Hey! You can't talk to my sister like that...unless you share that sweet ass Canadian beer.
Do you like hot anal sex?
Sure.
Deal.

 

by applesauce55
8-05-04
Dedicated to all my co-workers at the Flume ride! ;P
What did the male lamb say to the lady lamb?
I dunno, what?
WOOL you marry me?
Ha...ha...
You humans just don't appreciate clean humor anymore!
If only he had as much brain as he does eye.

 

by applesauce55
8-05-04
Okay, okay. What do you get when you cross a hotdog and a freezer?
A cold hotdog?
HA! No! A chilly dog!
You're really pathetic.
Hey, where are you going??
Humor someone who has the time.

 

by applesauce55
8-05-04
Hey! Hey, Monkey, wanna hear a joke?
Ahh ahh!
You're laughing already! Good! What do you get when you cross a bull and a frog?
Ahh! Ahh!
A horny toad! You don't even know what I'm saying. Figures.
?

 

by applesauce55
8-05-04
What do you get when you cross the rising sun and a worm?
I'm allergic to the sun!
That's really not the point. What do you get?
This is really hard.
AN EARLY WORM!
Hey, that's really funny!

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