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| i'm not going to go do comedy tonight. i'm too despondent to try to pretend to be cheerful, and it's not fair for them to bring the audience down to where i am. | |
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| i just had a niece, no, nice talk with tommy about options, but it seemed so hopeless my stomach started hurting like it did when dad was around. pain from fear. | |
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| i moved stuff around in the back yard, and i could see the dilapidated fence, the broken down cars, the piles of stuff, much more clearly than usual. | |
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| i did what little i could but it will never be enough. made a plan with brian to scrap the two volvos, and the plan is fix the white van, and the blue volvo is a potential obstacle. | |
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| i am writing up my disability application | |
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| everything hopeless these days. i will get up early for plasma, and bring a book. just had an unwelcome visitor. | |
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