All comics by astek

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by astek
8-11-07
The Devil Went Down To Microsoft
So, you wanted to see me father?
Your XP has done it's purpose, We must think of another scam including the usual propaganda. We have the coding, what of the name?
Hmmm... I will call it Vista. I will demand everything from now on be Vista compatible.
Yes, yes. But what of the budget. This might cost millions.
Get a bunch of interns together and tell them to delete every tenth line... muhahahah! Soon they will be powerless to resist!
...there goes Bill having another one of those bad LSD trips...

 

by astek
8-11-07
Cheap Bill
Any spare change Sir?
NO. Now go away before I slap you with my money rubbing hand.
Come on Sir...
I said no you crazy old hobo.
I hope a Mac falls from that window and kills you. And ipood on your Mercedes 20 seconds ago.
Holy Shat! I just had that waxed!

 

by astek
8-11-07
Do You Want Fries With That?
Hey! Where am I? Who are you? WHERE IS MY MONEY BATH!
Uhmm...*cough* Uh yeah. You're dead.
Oh. Well last thing I remember I was rubbing my money and eating a Big Mac and...
...you had a massive blood clot the size of a grapefruit. You had a heart attack Bill.
So you wouldn't happen to have any salt, would you?
.............................

 

by astek
8-12-07
Hello I'm a Mac
Hello. I'm a Mac.
...I know who you are. So... I see the iphone sold well.
Why, yes it did. Wow, you actually got something accomplished PC. By now I thought you have done....
58305025640265: Trying to Compute. 23047-52752-349:
Nevermind. There he goes again.
! This application has incountered a serious error. Preparing to shut-down !

 

by astek
8-12-07
Backwards Compata-what?
Well the Xbox 360 has been built and we've got all the internal software developed.
Yes, but what of backwards compatability?
Backwards What? Your'e speaking Chinese to me.
You know, when the new system ports old titles so they can play the old games on the new system.
Oh. Well throw a Barbie Horse Adventure emulator in and a few more, will yah? I just love Barbie Horse Adventure.
.........................

 

by astek
8-12-07
Compute Overload
I've got people nagging about Vista, my computers cant help but crash simple programs, and I've had a foot up my butt since I woke up!
Hey, calm down Bill. It'll be okay.
Shut up intern crack wipe! Do I look like Ken Kutaragi to you?
Uh... Bill. You're starting to shoot sparks out your anus.
PHYSICAL MEMORY DUMP COMPLETE.
Can somebody clean this crap up?

 

by astek
8-13-07
KFC 4 Two
I'm telling you Chuck, it' a conspiracy. Colonel Sanders is alive!!!
Screw you Chuck! Go choke on a chicken bone! I know I'm right!
Yeah, and just as soon as he walks up to me I'm going to go home and hang myself!
I'll catch up to him later, but would you like to try some of my famous Kentucky Fried Chicken?

 

by astek
8-13-07
Don't worry. A little quickie beat-off should solve that.

 

by astek
8-15-07
It's your time Scott. You got to go with me now. Wait? Is that a grenade!?!
Why hell it is! You didn't get me at Berlin and you sure as hell won't get me here!
That Nazi pussy. Dissapearing and shit........ WON"T GET ME DAMNIT!.

 

by astek
8-16-07
During The Break
Pssssh. Aliens. *Laughs* That guy was a sandwich short of a picnic.
*Laughs* Yeah, a real nutcase.I mean, who believes in aliens anyway?
Can you direct me to Studio 5?
Wha... wha...wait. Was that a....
I just shit my pants a little...

 

by astek
8-26-07
Hey, Carl... can I have some money.
What is your reason this time?
Uhhh... its for the starving kids in Ethiopia ...
Yeah... right... Listen, aren't you suppost to be somewhere pissing off somebody else?
Late that night...
*...bluuuue balls, bluuuuue balls... its dollar night at the titty club...*

 

by astek
8-26-07
Dude... do you realize how much I need money?
Dude, do you realize how much you need to shut the hell up and get a freaking job?
Bret, no one likes you when you're drunk..
Yeah? Well no one likes you PERIOD!
YOU JUST GOT OWNED...
Damn! You're right...

 

by astek
8-26-07
Dude... do you realize how much I need money?
Dude, do you realize how much you need to shut the hell up and get a freaking job?
Bret, no one likes you when you're drunk..
Yeah? Well no one likes you PERIOD!
YOU JUST GOT OWNED...
Damn! You're right...
I just love the irony...

 

by astek
8-26-07
Burt... if you're so poor, then why do you have such nice threads?
I don't know. I think they were just drawn on me.
POOF!
Wait... did I just see...
*Huff* Well... easy come... easy go.

 

by astek
8-26-07
Uh, sir. I just thought you should know that you...
No! No! Get the hell away from me! You aint taking me!
I aint gonna do nothing to you, boy...
Get away!
Freaking stoner. I was just going to tell him he stepped in a REALLY BIG pile a shit.

 

by astek
8-29-07
Dude, Carl. What happened to you?
I'll tell you what happened. I meet this cunt see. And I was like, "Whats up cunt?" And shes all like, "What did you say to me?" ...pissing me off and shit. And I'm like, "Whats up cunt?"
And she says she has a boyfriend and shit and I'm like, "I'll snap his neck like a twig... ya cunt." And then her boyfriend comes up to me, right, and he says, "What did you say to my hoe?"
And then you killed him?
Ah naw nigga. We bought a hamburger and went bowling. This blood is from yo momma's house last night.

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