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| Hello 911?!! Help me please!!! One of Santa's elves has killed Santa and the other elves. Please send help immediately!!! He's ass raping me repeatedly! HELP!!! | |
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| Calm down maam, help is on the way. A dog-sled rescue team has already been dispatched. Now listen, you are in a very remote area, and it will take approximately 2 weeks to reach you. | |
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| Two WEEKS!??? What the fuck are you talking about? You need to get your... | |
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| Maam, calm down please! First and foremost is your survival! This is highly unusual, but I'm going to have to ask you to 'roll with the punches', until we can reach you! | |
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| Roll with the punches?!!! You fucking MORON!! He's not punching me, he's BUTT-FUCKING me! | |
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| Again maam... this is highly unusual. There is no 911 response protocol for this scenario, but asking you to 'roll with the punches' was not appropriate. I suggest that you 'gape with the thrusts'. | |
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