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| Whereas (in life), I have been denied my conjugal right (albeit tacit), to doink your rump, and notwithstanding... the fact that (in death), | |
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| your ass has been sewn shut to further the aforementioned denial... and notwithstanding the fact that your colon is devoid of all fecal matter... | |
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| ... and whereas the continuance of this denial has pissed me off, I shall upon this day, seize the moment and butt-fuck the shit out of you. | |
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