All comics by billifred

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by billifred
8-06-04
Man this sucks...
Tell me about it
Would you shut the hell up?
I'm just saying, I've had better days. It could be worse I guess...
Ha ha ha! Me farty longtime!

 

by billifred
8-06-04
billifred meets a critic
I haven't seen anything creative here.
Well what would make it better?
I don't know. How about doing or saying something that hasn't already been done like a million times already.
Oh, I get it. You mean something like this...
George Bush is the Devil! Michael Moore rules!
You frickin' rock, dude!

 

by billifred
8-06-04
12:07pm - Rex visits the message board.
From: Tricer47 Message: Rexor99 - You are teh suck. >:(
Man, this guys a jerk.
From: Rexor99 Message: Tricer47, I am not teh suck. You are all teh uber suck. I'm never coming back to this board again
Heh heh heh! I showed them...
11:43pm - That same evening...
From: Rexor47 Message: Hey guys, what's going on? :P
Why isn't anyone responding?

 

by billifred
8-06-04
Like, I've got no clothes on. Get out you perv!
You don't need to put your clothes on. Just relax, okay?
There. Does this make you feel better?
You need help. I'm outa here, pervo!
Meow?
Just relax, okay? You don't need to put your clothes on.

 

by billifred
8-07-04
Hey, Orochi Dp. What's the deal with your outfit?
At least I know what clothes are, billifred.
...
Good call... Orochi DP? Where'd you go?

 

by billifred
8-07-04
billifred, I'm confused. Exactly what are you supposed to be?
I represent the seeds of imagination and creativity. Just as my thoughts can go anywhere, so can yours!
Right. As in you are as creative as being a prerended character that someone else drew for some other purpose. You're a real genius there, billifred.
...Well, maybe I just change all of that then...
...Is this better?
No.

 

by billifred
8-07-04
At the Pets Emporium.
Welcome to the Pets Emporium. Is there something I can help you find, sir?
Yeah. I'd like a sack of hamsters- not too fat and not too lean. Something just right for cookin' up a mean stir-fry.
Uh, that's disgusting. This is a PET store. We don't sell hamsters by the sack-load and we don't sell pets for food.
Right, right... Heh! That was a joke, man; I'm a vegetarian. Can I get a half-dozen hamsters for... deviant sexual activity?
That'll be $17.50... For only $4 more you can get our special K-Y package.
Umm, no thanks. Do you guys sell soy sauce?

 

by billifred
8-07-04
Friday night at "The Club."
Hey, you wanna go back to my place and have sex?
You've got to be kidding me. You need to work on your social skills... you know. Get to know people first.
Right... My name's Lance and I'd love to have sex with you. Hey... you wanna go back to my place and have sex?
!!!
Saturday morning in the park.
Hey, you wanna go back to my place and have sex?
???

 

by billifred
8-07-04
They say that smoking dope makes everything funnier and can lead to creativity. They also say it can lead to apathy and loss of brain cells.
heh-heh... yeah...
...
...
Wanna break out the bong?
heh-heh... yeah...

 

by billifred
8-07-04
Man, I laxed it all summer. I am totally not prepared for the exam tomorrow morning. Are you all studied up? Will you help me cram for the exam?
heh-heh... yeah...
Wait... You're lying. You haven't read one book all summer. Man, we're screwed. We're gonna fail lit class, again!
heh-heh... yeah...
Wanna break out the bong?
heh-heh... yeah...

 

by billifred
8-07-04
...on the way home they cut through the city park...
Man, walking sucks. But I really need the exercise.
heh-heh... yeah...
Let's rest for a minute up there in the clearing.
...
Wanna break out the bong?
heh-heh... yeah...

 

by billifred
8-07-04
Holy crap! This is it, the end of the world. World War III. The end of civilization as we know it.
heh-heh... yeah...
Damn it! This isn't funny, man. We're gonna be dead soon, just like everyone else.
...
Wanna break out the bong?
heh-heh... yeah...

 

by billifred
8-07-04
Dude... Man, I got so wasted last night. I can only remember bits and pieces of it... Did we have sex with each other?
heh-heh... yeah...
I'm not gay, you know? And I don't know why I insisted on "catching" all night long. Man, I am never getting that wasted again.
...
Wanna break out the bong?
heh-heh... yeah...

 

by billifred
8-08-04
You're travelling to another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound...but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land, whose boundaries are only that of the imagination...you're entering...
...The Twilight Zone. Take two stoners, a tired punchline, and humor that few, if any find funny and you'll find yourself on a journey worse than a self-imposed hell...
It is this broad based grey, unimposing, and uninteresting line that cannot be crossed- only tread upon. That line is predictabilty located in... The Twilight Zone.
An overly long intro and references over 40yrs old. I don't have the attention span or patience to read all that. Is he trying to kill his fan base?
???
Wanna break out the bong?
heh-heh... yeah...

 

by billifred
8-09-04
10:37am at the warehouse...
Man, Mr. Foreman is a jerk. He said if were late again or if he catches us slacking or if we do anything stupid he's gonna fire us.
Wanna break out the bong?
heh-heh... yeah...

 

by billifred
8-09-04
Wednesday 1:43pm
I can't take this job, man. I'm gonna get my act together, get my GED, go to a community college, then go to a real college, and then become a doctor.
...
Seriously...
heh-heh... yeah...
Wanna break out the bong?
heh-heh... yeah...

 

by billifred
8-12-04
Honest criticism for the series arrives...
This is what one critic said, "Same joke eighty times = not teh funneh."
Wanna break out the bong?
heh-heh... yeah...

 

by billifred
5-27-07
Years have passed, and much is the same.
...Holy crap, dude! What've I been doing with my life? I've been away so long there's even a new crappy drawing of me, which will be used again in the split panel cheat I use to extend my monologue.
I've gotta let people know about this, NOW! ...right after I kill the Lavitis Gorgon and save my game...
After a very short run into the next room...
*huff* *huff* *gasp* Dude! *huff* *huff* *gasp* A lot of crazy crap and stuff has happened! *huff* *huff* *gasp* ...wanna break out the bong?
... Heh heh...
"Heh heh" what?
...yeah...

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