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| Excuse me--aren't you Hideki Matsui, the famous Japanese baseball player who helped the Yankees win the World Series? | |
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| No, I am not. If you look carefully, sir, you'll see that I am a black man. | |
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| Holy shit--how did it happen? Sorcery? Did you offend some evil gypsies? | |
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| (sigh) You won't believe this. Some terribly misguided person just mistook me for Hideki Matsui. | |
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| You mean you're NOT Hideki Matsui? No wonder you have such a grotesquely large penis. | |
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