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| I'll give you three reasons why everything you think you know about college is wrong. | |
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| Not now, can't you see what's happening behind you?! | |
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| I have no idea what's happening behind you, but I don't care. What I'm about to tell you is very important in regards to your future. | |
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| Dubya is snorting cocaine out of a dead hooker's cooch. | |
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| Well, this just proves everything I thought I knew about college is wrong! | |
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