All comics by boddekker

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by boddekker
2-19-03
Wha'cha got there, Abigail?
Lewis! I got you the new Stephen King book.
Abbie, you know Stephen King makes me sick...
It's either that or the new Michael Jackson biography.
I'll take the Stephen King.
I thought so. Catsup or mustard with that?

 

by boddekker
2-19-03
What's wrong today, Abigail?
The dog chewed up the door and I was going to smack her with this magazine.
But your dad is putting her in a packing crate.
Yeah. He's sending her to Iraq.
What on earth for?
I dunno... he mumbled something about a Weapon of Mass Destruction.

 

by boddekker
2-19-03
We're over here by the manger, Abbie.
Boy, I'll be glad when this winter is over.

 

by boddekker
2-19-03
Dad's going to be mad that you ate his "Battle Cry" game.
What are you worried about? Most of it came back up.

 

by boddekker
2-19-03
Greetings, Lewis! I am the OmniGoat! Once a decade, I randomly grant one wish to a goat of my choosing. You are my choice! Wish away!
But I'm happy with my life! My girl feeds me, I share a nice stall with Clark and Chelsea...
C'mon, goat! We're talking ONE FREE WISH here! Isn't there anything you want? Anything? Anything at all?
Not really. I want nothing!

 

by boddekker
2-20-03
Abigail, have you mucked out the goat stable this week?
Not yet, Dad! Why do you ask?
I wish I could say a little bird told me...
Could you tell me where the septic tank is?

 

by boddekker
2-22-03
Well, Lewis, I'm off to France!
France? Whatever for?
I've been elected their new national mascot!
How interesting...
Yeah! They're going to put me on their new flag and everything!
And would this new flag be white, yellow or both?

 

by boddekker
2-22-03
How are things going, Abigail?
Well, it's been quiet around here since Henry the Chicken went to France to be their new national mascot...
True...
So Dad's been busy interviewing for a replacement.
I'm afraid you're not what we had in mind...
Then would you just let me hang out in the stable?

 

by boddekker
2-22-03
So Abigail, how's the search for Henry's replacement going?
It's tough, Lewis...
You'd think with the job market what it is, there'd be lots of qualified applicants.
Well, there are LOTS of applicants, all right...
I program in C++, I know Java, and I can make your web site sing!
But can you crow from the rooftop at 5 a.m. and impregnate the hens?

 

by boddekker
2-22-03
The search for Henry the Chicken's replacement continues...
I can't lay eggs, but I can cause emphysema and lung cancer!
No thank you...
I lost the rest of my band in a night club fire, so I'm willing to take any gig...
No thank you...
I can harness the power of The Old Ones to turn your enemies into Maggots!
Turn yourself into a rooster and you've got the job.

 

by boddekker
2-22-03
Did you find a replacement for Henry the Chicken yet?
Dad got sick of seeing unqualified applicants, so he hired Cthulhu.
THE Cthulhu? The most heinous of all The Old Ones?
Yeah. I guess things are tough all over.
It's 5 a.m. you spawn of the swamp! Arise or my winged minions shall feed on your flesh!
It's not 5 a.m. It's 10:30. You're late.

 

by boddekker
2-22-03
Look, Cthulhu, I don't think this is working out. You're frightening the other animals and the neighbors...
Am I not doing my job?
And you promised to take the form of a rooster...
Oh!
*cackle* *hack* *bleeetch* How's this?
This is the third migraine I've had this week...

 

by boddekker
2-22-03
Arise, Goat-beast, or you shall be sacrificed on the foul altars of Baal'sebub!
YOWWWW!
Heh, heh. Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm the new barnyard rooster.
Oh, you must be Henry the Chicken's replacement!
Yup. How am I doing?
Well, I'm sure not constipated any more...

 

by boddekker
2-22-03
I understand you've hired Cthulhu as your new barnyard rooster.
Yes...
Well, it's created some issues that I'd like to discuss.
I'm sorry, but I'm on the way to work. I don't have time for that now.
Perhaps you'd have time if I returned with an angry, torch-wielding mob.
Come on in. I'll have my wife make some coffee.

 

by boddekker
2-22-03
The neighborhood has problems with you hiring Cthulhu as your barnyard rooster.
Well, Lem, we all have issues...
I mean, when your dog broke his chain and killed some of my chickens, we worked that out, didn't we?
But my dog didn't turn your corn crib into a portal to Hell.
I'm listening...

 

by boddekker
2-22-03
I should call the police on you. Or I should call "60 Minutes." Or the Vatican. Or the FBI.
I don't respond to threats, Lem.
I should just call the gov'mint in on you. You'd regret that in a New York Minute.
And I should have Cthulhu turn you all into fat, slow field mice that I'd feed to my barn cat.
Shucks, I guess that Cthulu fella ain't so bad after all.
I'm glad we came to this understanding, Lem...

 

by boddekker
2-22-03
Cthulhu, you were supposed to turn yourself into a rooster so you don't frighten the neighbors.
Don't you think that's a little undignified for someone of my stature?
Tell you what. Just turn yourself into something less threatening.
Your wish is my command!
DEATH TO AMERIKA! ANTRHAX FOR THE INFIDELS!
I wish I'd stayed back home to sell used cars with my Dad...

 

by boddekker
2-10-06
Well hello, Abigail! Long time, no see!
Yeah, it's been a while...
If you don't mind my saying so, you look a little... different...
Well, three years... I've grown up a bit...
They deleted the drawings he used to use for you, didn't they?
More like that whole Darrin thing on "Bewitched"...

 

by boddekker
2-10-06
So you've been replaced by different artwork?
That's my story and I'm sticking to it...
And what's your Dad up to?
He's spent this whole time trying to resolve that whole thing with having Cthulhu as our barnyard rooster...
When I said I wanted to talk about this somewhere private, this isn't what I had in mind...
But you gotta admit it's private... don'cha love the ATMOSPHERE? Heh, heh...

 

by boddekker
2-10-06
Look, I'm tired of this. Let's just go back to the farm.
Okay... but I need to stop at my place first.
Smoking or non-smoking? Heh, heh... suckerrrrr....
That's it. I'm having my daughter go with "Plan B."
"To begin the process, pick the chicken up by the feet..." So far, so good...
Before you read any further, there's something you should know about this chicken...

 

by boddekker
2-10-06
Dad! You're back! How did it go with Cthulhu?
Not as good as I'd hoped.
Is it my imagination or do you smell like smoke?
I don't want to talk about it. How's "Plan B" going?
Here chickie, chickie, chickie.... Hey, you're not a chickie...
And you're not the doe from the MacDougal Farm...

 

by boddekker
2-10-06
See, I'm looking to make some dough quickie by offing a certain chickie...
And I'm needing some stud fees to pay for stud poker.
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!
Heh. Heh heh heh. Heh heh heh.
*Ahem* Okay, look ... I don't know you, and you never saw me.
*Cough* Gotcha.

 

by boddekker
2-10-06
That goat-beast said that the useless one who hired me keeps an elven ring of power in his house!
GOAT-BEAST, YOU WORTHLESS MAMMAL! WHERE IS THE RING???
Jus' keep looking... You'll get it real soon...
Warmer.... I sense I am getting warmer...

 

by boddekker
2-10-06
...so my old rooster left to become the emblem on the new French flag.
And that's when you hired Cthulhu to be your new rooster?
That's right.
And when he wouldn't leave...
My daughter hired a mask-wearing axe murderer to take him out.
If I'd taken that bribe from the Corleone family, I could be in the Bahamas right now...

 

by boddekker
2-10-06
So your goat tricked Cthulhu into coming into the house, where the axe wielding maniac was laying in wait for him...
That's right, officer. Anything else you need from me?
One teensy thing... why the space suit?
Uh... just a precaution. That's all. A precaution.
Now I know why my old partner ate his gun...

 

by boddekker
2-10-06
I just have one last question... where are the bodies?
Bodies?
Yeah. Messy scenes like this usually produce a corpse or two.
I don't know... unless nobody was killed. Hey, as long as they stay away from here...
So you're the new head of the Democratic National Committee?
*Gurgle* *Bleetch* *Hack* Yes, that's right...

 

by boddekker
2-10-06
Whoa! Who are you?
I'm Abigail! I'm here to feed the goats!
Me too!
Heavens, you must be me from three years ago.
Yeah. Well, this is surreal.
Vonnegutesque is what I was thinking...

 

by boddekker
2-10-06
So why did I get... replaced?
I guess the writer couldn't find you when he restarted the strip...
Well, I'm not going to argue. I'll be going...
Why? Because I'm more attractive?
Nope. Because it turns out I'm a male.
Don't worry. They did that a lot in Shakespeare's time.

 

by boddekker
2-10-06
My stars and garters! It's Henry the Chicken!
I'm back from my sojurn in France.
But I thought you were going to be the new French national icon!
Eh... it wasn't all it was cracked up to be....
What do you mean, 'The French just surrendered'???
Apparently, they were caught off-guard by the fireworks at EuroDisney...

 

by boddekker
2-10-06
So did much happen while I was gone?
Just the usual...
So the Gentleman Farmer is still making a hash of hiring new animals?
Let's just say that things can't get any worse...
You apparently misread the ad. My daughter was looking for a *PET* rabbit...
Look, pal, I heard you'll hire anyone. Do I get the gig or not?

 

by boddekker
2-10-06
So Dad... did you get me a pet rabbit?
So Abigail, did you muck out the stable yet?
Uh....
Hrm....
You go first.
Quit stalling.

 

by boddekker
2-10-06
I didn't muck the stable out because I thought you'd mess up getting a rabbit.
I didn't get a rabbit because I thought you hadn't mucked out the stable.
Uh-oh...
Uh-oh...
...so I'll make you a deal. You stay out of the sugar and I'll keep away from the liquor cabinet.
You're on.

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