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| I have a big crush on this girl at school. Her name is Mary Sue and she smells like vanilla. | |
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| Whenever I see her jumping up and down, my underpants get tight. I tried to talk to her today, but I got nervous and pooped myself. | |
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| Then later a bunch of jocks beat me with their math text-books behind the school. But it wasn't all bad. I found a quarter afterwards. | |
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