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| Santa, Santa! We got our first letter of the year! | |
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| Jee-zus Christ! We haven't even finished cleaning up from 2005! Put whoever this asshole is on the coal and switches list with extreme prejudice! | |
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| Dear Santa: I'm 4 years old. I want you to make my daddy well again so my mommy will stop crying. Lisa. | |
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| Alright, alright. Put her down for a black dress. | |
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