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| Giraldo Rivera for Fox News! Though you keep denying allegations that you are Pandeist, the rumors still exist. Is there anything you want to say to the public? | |
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| *SIGH* YES! I'm Pandeist! I tried starting drama so my comics would stay relevant. I failed. Please... respect my family's privacy in our hour of crisis. | |
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| But, sir. You're NOT Pandeist. Why did you lie to him like that? | |
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| It's simple. You feed them the answer they want to hear and usually they go away. | |
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| I wonder if he could fulfill my panty waste fantasy? | |
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