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| Welcome to our country. We love guns, booze, and artery clogging junk food. | |
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| We have so much food we hold contests where we pig out, cook it up and judge it then throw it away, or just plain smash it with a mallet because... comedy! | |
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| Oh, I was born in the Hudson river, son. You see, my mother had an abortion. They thought I was dead and threw me into the trash, which eventually made it's way into the polluted waters. | |
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| Yeah, we don't like immigrants either, Paco. | |
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