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| The meeting between Kim Jong Un and President Trump took an unexpected turn after John Bolton jumped on the table and jerked off in the North Korean leader's forehead. | |
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| In response, Kim Jong Un has declared that he will be destroying Pearl Harbor and claims that he will make the Japanese look like weaklings compared to what he intends to do. | |
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| And in other news, talks have begun over the movie rights to Pearl Harbor 2. | |
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