All comics by carlnawa

 

Jesus Joe Evans up to his usual tricks by carlnawa 1-20-05
Jesus Joe Evans and Christina Aguilera meet for the first time hi im erm... joe u look a lot fatter than i expected this guy smells and barely remembers his own name. what a cock	he continues ... and what a funny accent are u Irish? he he	the usual conslusion your place or mine? wherever just please please please let me sleep with u

 

Fiford's new take on child abuse by carlnawa 1-20-05
a regular occurance for Carl Fiford on the way to work please sir im an orphan, ive got no money please help me. oh for fucks sake shall i just give him some money so he'll piss off, least it'll solve his problems	please? on second thoughts...	after thoughtful consideration fiford decides to fill him in problem solved

 

Well dirty? by carlnawa 1-20-05
The Wedge draws to a close So do u wanna come back to mine then? Quality! Bird! Pulled! She's well fit!	the next morning Carl meets George... So how did u get on with that bird? Shagged her, she was well up for it, well dirty, she loved it!	Something occurs to George fuckin hell isn't that the bird Carl pulled last night? I just kept trying to say no

 

A shocking confession from Smith by carlnawa 1-20-05
The police have become so worried about the recent outbreak of raping that they've called in the only people they can trust, God come with me kids the good lord will protect u from the rapists Thank u Sister Smith, I dont feel safe anywhere even in this 'church'	Indian rumbles Diamond and Smith's filthy plan For fuck's sake Smith posing as a nun, when will u bloody stop? Why cant u just go after regular girls? Or rape that bloody cat of yours?	Smith through gritted teeth admits... i already do, im bored of it.

 

Breast fed by carlnawa 1-21-05
Smith meets the Evans family for the first time, first up his dad Hello there George a pleasure to meet u what a wonderful cat u have Hello Mr Evans, thank you ive been grooming it since birth	Next up his sister Hi georgeous george Would i? No stop it what a wonderfully normal family they are	Smiths initial conslucions are revealed as wrong when joe and Mrs Evans arrive (both) Hi George Fuckin joe evans

 

He's still got it warts and all by carlnawa 1-21-05
Another busy night at 24 Charlotte Street. Laura Whiskerd and Shelley Newport discuss various love life dilemmas and stumble along the subject of Jesus Joe Evans i cant believe i slept with him, he doesn't wash, he's condescending what did i ever see in him? How could i let him bum me? Yeh i cant believe i slept with james err i mean u slept with joe, james is such a cock, err i mean joe smells	and he gave me warts i'd never sleep with joe yeh me neither i'd never sleep with james err i mean joe	Both ponder to themsleves i'd love to lick the cheese off his bellend i loved his warts i'd love to lick the keg nuts out of his arse i'd love his warts

 

Exile... by carlnawa 1-22-05
Following Carl Fifford's drunken abberation, Arnoldi exiled him in the alcohol-free state of Iraq. Had Fifford cleaned up his act? So Fifford, did u stay off the booze? How was the raping? It was fine radface, I didn't touch a drop.	And I raped this flat-chested youngster, forced my cock down her throat. she puked blood!!	Fifford fucked it. Fifford you cock, you raped Ken Bigley!

 

Hodges wins over the Reverand by carlnawa 1-23-05
The evil alliance are worried that Hodges may be becoming a liability. They conduct a meeting at hq. The Reverand had in particular harboured doubts from the beginning Ever since he threatened to bite my eyes out ive not been fond of this Hodges character. He just shouts RAAAPE and is definitely going to get us caught. I FUCKIN HATE HODGES. I agree something needs to be done, even Mr. Tiggles is scared of him.	Meanwhile Hodges daily raping draws to a close Mmmm wraps, ive only time for one rape left today, Ahah the perfect victim i can put her meaty thighs in my wrap RAAAAAPE Im not sure i should walk down this alley after last time that rape reminded me of James..... AHHHHHHHHH	The rape was so horrific it gains a national expose The recent outbreak of raping is just savage. A recent victim comments 'I was terrified he was holding an impeccable wrap and threatened to bite my eyes out! Ive just split up with my boyfriend...... I FUCKIN LOVE HODGES

 

Arnoldi and Indian stick to raping by carlnawa 1-23-05
After a hard weeks raping Indian and Arnoldi contemplate going on the piss Alright Indian u up for the piss tonite? We'll leave the raping aside and just go after some normal slags for a change. Alright mate yeah im big up for it this raping is all a bit too much like hard work sometimes	Arnoldi suggests they drop into the nearest bar... Quality! Lets go in here there seems to be all the slags in Bristol all in the same place!	And then the penny drops So as i was saying i haven't washed in three weeks ive got loads of STD's and a small willy. Fuckin Joe Evans, he's got them hanging off his every word. Lets jog on, i've got a couple of bits of rope we can hang ourselves with

 

Wrongly accussed by carlnawa 1-23-05
The police step up their investigation into the recent raping and question a number of potential suspects No officer i know nothing of these rapes. I have a steady girlfriend and respectable demeanor why would i possibly rape anyone? It couldn't be this guy he's far too trustowrthy	No officer i know nothing of these rapes. I have slept with over 100 girls why would i possibly rape anyone? A bit shifty but still he's equally trustworthy.	The police believe they have found their rapist. Rape? Sounds like somethin a blonde guy in a suit and a poor mans Brad Pitt would do. mmm Owain, sounds and looks gay, definite rapist. lets bring him in.

 

The truth about Laura by carlnawa 1-24-05
Diamond and Indian once again discuss the possibilities of Laura's new found zest for life Indian i cant believe Laura's continuing excuberence i know i only saw her once yesterday n that was to take a french stick from the kitchen	Diamond's worried that Indian may have mistaken Laura's new mood for something he saw on the internet earlier and decides to investigate ja ja ich bin der fuhrer, berndt schneider, schweinsteiger jaaaaaaaa	and then it all becomes painfully clear world class Howdy max hardcore here!

 

He has a redface, he doesn't love it by carlnawa 1-24-05
Arnoldi relays his fears that his job at the RAC may be affecting other areas of his life. He meets Diamond for lunch do you think i look any different? i think im changing, i feel like im losing my looks and my touch with women U r lookin slightly diffrerent mate you've more of a redface but u do love it	Arnoldi brushes it off back at the office these fears play on Arnoldi's mind for the rest of the day So Jo how bout it? Me and u i promise you a good time Look Paul as if! u need to smarten yourself up and sort it out take a look at yourself	Arnoldi depressed decides to go to a quiet corner and look in the mirror and to his horror realises he's not the Brad Pitt he thought he was. Fuck me i do have a redface

 

Done by the phones again by carlnawa 1-24-05
Indian attempts texting the landline to see what the generic woman with a voice box sounds like Right i'll text somethin funny about Arnoldi: Arnoldi is a cock ARNOLDI IS A COCK	Quality this is fun: Hodges is a cock ARNOLDI IS A COCK	A bemused Indian goes into the other room to find the culprit shouting down the other end of the phone ARNOLDI IS A COCK Fuckin Hodges

 

Will he ever stop? by carlnawa 1-24-05
News circulated the strike team that Janet Arnoldi had been subject to an attempted rape. Arnoldi investigates Which of u fuckers tried to rape my mum. Apparently there were crisps down her knickers and something involving a wing mirror and a used condom Honestly mate im sticking to the underagers after my last date i swear	well who the fuck was it? Ian was it you? I was in Iraq grooming some underagers on the internet i swear it wasn't me.	As the penny drops Arnoldi cant believe he didnt see it sooner. First your own mum now u try it with my mum. Fiford for Fuck's sake sorry

 

Rejected, dejected but still not mates with Busby by carlnawa 1-24-05
After trying to rape Janet Arnoldi, Fiford is temporarily left in the cold look Fiford i cant deal with u now, there's raping to do i'll dish out your punishment later you're in the dogbin please forgive me arnoldi i brought u these flowers i didnt mean it i was pissed and thought your mum was sally	Fiford is distraught but quickly runs into an opportunity to meet new friends hello there sir, its win a friend for life competition simply sign up and win a friend for life! Sounds good just what i need!	The penny drops when Fiford meets his new friend Hey ya! Fancy going for a drink new best mate! Fuck off Busby

 

Fiford: last of the true romantics by carlnawa 1-26-05
Fiford still pining after Sally decides to put some rahyipnol in her drink on a night out and reap or should i say rape the rewards Here's my chance its just kicking in, she'll be like janine and i'll be the boon. err where am i? Fiford?	Fiford leads her astray... come with me Taylor i'll lead u to my filthy dungeon ok, ive no idea where i am i can barely see, im so fucked i'll shag anything even if they aren't black	Fiford's plan is foiled What the fuck is that on the bed? Thats rank, seriously fuck off Carl sorry ive erm shit the bed...again

 

Laura loves it the most by carlnawa 1-31-05
Arnoldi hears a ruckus in Laura's room and decides to investigate what the fuck? LOOK IM NOT HAVING THIS I LOVE IT THE MOST! YOU ARE RESLLY UPSETTING ME NOW. I LOVE IT THE MOST BOO HOO...	Arnoldi tries to comfort Laura as he hears her crying Laura are u ok? I heard you crying is it an argument between your parents, i know u love them very much. No no its not about that it was an argument between me n sally...	And then the penny drops I was simply telling her about BLACK COCK and that I LOVE IT THE MOST. fuckin boons

 

Good Weekend Laura? by carlnawa 2-07-05
Indian hear's some strage noises outside Laura's room so he decides to investigate ah ja ja ja vule der fuhrer jorg heinrich himmler shalke ja that is correct. JA JA JA MORE MORE... fucks sake Laura's up to her usual tricks	he decides to spread the wealth to Arnoldi fuckin hell mate Laura's up to it again she's like a machine these days Yeh but who? evans is away for the weekend and i thought she just went into her room to take a phone call	Arnoldi confronts so who was that on the phone Laura? oh it was just my dad.

 

Laura's big date by carlnawa 3-03-05
Indian and George discuss Laura's big date Laura's well up for her big date at Brown's thats the first time she's shaved her legs in six months I know mate she was wearing her 'fuck me now' UBLHC top as well	just then the phone rings... im sorry she's not here right now can i take a message? yeh could u just tell her that Peter rang and that i'll be running a bit late.	Something occurs to Indian and George Hang on that guy sounded a bit old didn't he? Isn't Laura's Dad called Peter? ... ... Fuck

 

Sell out by carlnawa 12-20-05
Outside the SBR Grill after yet another Arnoldi Night mate, all this stuff at the rhino is just between me and you yeh? of course mate you can always count on Paul 'take it to the grave' Arnoldi	Diamond arrives the next day at Slash's and on cue the phone rings hello? Hello can I speak to Claire Withey please	and then the penny drops... Dave that was Paul on the phone....You're dumped Fuckin Arnoldi

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