All comics by crowspeaker

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by crowspeaker
5-06-08
Shouldn't we be at our desks instead of getting all this fresh air?
I really hate that about you.

 

by crowspeaker
5-06-08
Working in the mailroom is not that complicated. Just move mail from the bin into these labeled slots.
I can speak fluent Klingon.

 

by crowspeaker
5-06-08
Does his urine sample look funny?
Okay, catch you later, big guy.

 

by crowspeaker
5-07-08
Ten years of loyal service reduced to a security escort and a cardboard box.
For the last time, I don't care what's in the box.

 

by crowspeaker
5-07-08
These goddamned brownies aren't going to bake themselves, guys.

 

by crowspeaker
5-08-08
So she says I have to move my stuff out of the garage so she can park her car in there. Total hassle.
Are you talking about your mom?
She's such a p'tak!

 

by crowspeaker
5-08-08
I played a prank on everyone, but no one seemed to notice.
Were you the one who hid everyone's pens?
No, I urinated in the coffee pot before everyone showed up. Classic!

 

by crowspeaker
5-08-08
Chen, if you don't quit staring at my junk, I will beat you with my nightstick.

 

by crowspeaker
5-08-08
Well, any money you take off the corpse would have to be reported as additional income.
Like tips?

 

by crowspeaker
5-09-08
You're constipated, I can help. And yes, the gloves are necessary.

 

by crowspeaker
5-11-08
Hey, Guy, what's in the box?
Badger, huh?

 

by crowspeaker
5-12-08
Sanderson, I've always wanted to ask you where you get those pants.
Technically, they're waders. I'm not actually wearing any pants.

 

by crowspeaker
5-13-08
Damn it, Ben. Light Monitor isn't a real job title!

 

by crowspeaker
5-17-08
Dave, have you seen my mitten?
It looks like this.

 

by crowspeaker
5-19-08
Where have you been?!?! You've been gone for like an hour!
What? I was getting a bikini wax!
Oh. I *thought* your pants looked looser.

 

by crowspeaker
5-19-08
So I was in bed for like, a whole week
Because your vagina was broken?
Yeah...

 

by crowspeaker
5-22-08
I think my wife is some kind of nymphomaniac.
No she's not.

 

by crowspeaker
6-09-08
You'd think the human bladder couldn't hold that much liquid.

 

by crowspeaker
6-12-08
Have you given any thought to the afterlife, Boss? You know, what will happen to your eternal soul after you die?
Are you trying to convert me or something? You know religious discussions are prohibited in the employee handbook.
Nothing like that. It's just that I poisoned your coffee.

 

by crowspeaker
6-12-08
I don't feel so good.
My guts are on fire!
Maybe you shouldn't have eaten all those tacos.

 

by crowspeaker
6-14-08
Now this isn't go blow up in my face or anything, right?
Of course not. i would never put either of us in danger.
Now, those fools at the academy...

 

by crowspeaker
6-17-08
So then I thought, it's not something that has to happen every day.
Maybe I could work it out so it only had to happen once a week. Of course I'm really shooting for once a month.
Please tell me you're not talking about taking a shit.

 

by crowspeaker
7-08-08
What the--? Who the hell are you?
I'm your evil twin from the Mirror Universe. I'm here because of a transporter accident.
Damn, I look pretty fine. Want to go make out?
No. In my universe I am heterosexual.
You really are evil.

 

by crowspeaker
7-09-08
I just want you to know that our moving your desk doesn't mean that we think you're doing a poor job.
In fact, we're all really pleased with your performance over the last quarter.

 

by crowspeaker
7-13-08
Tuesday in the cafeteria means chili for Melvyn! It's Chili Tuesday!
If you're getting chili, I'm afraid I have to insist you let me insert this cork. In you.
Just like Cabbage Thursday!

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