All comics by cultmasterflex

 

by cultmasterflex
1-04-06
heyy man. *cough* why dont ya give me a puff *cough*
yo, smokin is gross..fuck outta here son
ahh come on..all the cool kids are smokin me...
nah man, im cool
alright then, go home *cough* to daddy and smoke a fat cock, faggot *cough* bitch!
why does everyone have to keep bringing up my home life!? its not my fault daddy LOVES me!

 

by cultmasterflex
1-04-06
HEY KIDS! MY NAME IS GILBERT GOTTFRIED. YOU PROBABLY RECOGNIZE MY FACE AND VOICE FROM SUCH CLASSICS AS PROBLEM CHILD AND ALLADIN!
you are really obnoxious and hideous. and your voice hurts my ears and stuff
BAH! YOUR JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE I AM A RICH AND FAMOUS ACTOR AND VOICE. NO ONE CAN RESIST ME!
DUDE! shut the hell up, stop talking!! stop talking!! how many women to get with your anoyance anyway?
BARLEY ANY. IT IS A ROUGH LIFE, BUT I FIND WAYS OF SEXUALLY SATISFYING MYSELF.
so. another chronic masturbator?! I'M TIRED OF YOU SICK FUCKS WALKING AROUND THINKING ITS OK TO DO THAT SHIT! SAVE YOUR SEMEN FOR PROCREATION OR THE HUMAN RACE WILL BE DOOMED.

 

by cultmasterflex
1-06-06
sp-sp-spare change s-sir?
NO! fuck you asshole! why should i give you money when your just gonna waste it on beer and crack?
well.. beer and crack are essentials in my life as they are my addictions..
well christ man. pussy's my addiction, you see me fucking gettin any anytime soon!?
i have a vagina and am willing to get it on as long as you provide what i want.
yeah...and ive got plenty of stds already. go back to the streets and stop stealing my oxygen ya bum.

 

by cultmasterflex
1-06-06
wgt st ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
buuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
kikke uii hsbavrtransformed!!!!!!!
s9i ai gabbe u bitch!
THIS IS FUCKED IP SO IM GONNA KILL MYSELF!
rgw wbsegwrgsrgwrg

 

by cultmasterflex
1-08-06
damn...what can a guy get to eat around here? im starving!
ohh just my luck.
Derek! Where the hell have you been!
mmmhmm youll do just fine. You better not give me gas though.
why dont you recognize your own brother!?

 

by cultmasterflex
1-08-06
what happy endings to a brutal begining
so this romantic, wouldnt you say so darling?
why yes, ive never been to such a fancy place. But dear, it is a little expensive dont you think?
only the best for my love on our anniversary.
oh harold, i love you so..ever since i met you on that faithful day back in january of 1933! your beautiful face kept me going
if you look close enough, you can see martha giving a wink
darling, let us go home and make sweet passionate love.
your in for a treat tonight baby.

 

by cultmasterflex
1-08-06
There's one lesson that almost all computer geeks learn, at one point throughout their sad lives.
SO I NOTICE THAT YOU HAVE THE NEWEST ANTISPYWARE PACKAGE RIGHT TH3R3, YOUNG WHANG JWHANG! IS THERE ANYTHING THAT YOU COULD HELP ME OUT WITH, BEFORE MY COMPUTER STOPS WORKING, ENTIRELY?
ME NOH UNTAHHSTON WATT TIS DAT YOU ASSKEEN ME, MEESTUH JOHN SMEET.
... that lesson is this:
DAMN! I SHOULD'VE PAID ATTENTION TO THOSE ANIME CARTOONS. I WOULD HAVE AT LEAST KNOWN A LITTLE BIT OF JAPANESE! I NEED TO THINK OF A WAY TO FORCE THE INFORMATION OUT OF HER!
WATT EET EES DAT YOU WANT ME DO, MEESTUH JOHN SMEET?
Looks can be deceiving... and deception can be sooooo inticing. Do they EVER age?
S... so. H... how old did you say you where, again?
ME SAY TWUNTEE FYE, MEESTUH MEAT!

 

by cultmasterflex
1-23-06
inspired by shoe, thanks
so man, last night was alot different than most nights. you and your wife weren't screaming at each other.
yeah im glad she finally realized who the boss is.
well who wouldn't after two black eyes. what did you say to her to get her to learn?
nothing, i already told her twice.
if she gets out of line again, just take my axe
good idea..lets go to hooters

 

by cultmasterflex
6-12-06
I AM THE FIRE OF HELL! YOU BETTER OBEY THE CHRISTIAN RELIGION OR YOULL HAVE TO ANSWER TO ME!!
Hmm, i really better rethink my life then, Ive sinned so much since i was born
YES YOU SHOULD RETHINK! BECAUSE IF YOU DONT IM GONNA HAVE MY WAY WITH YOU!! AND YOU WILL NOT LIKE IT!
And how do you know that? MAN GIVE IT TO ME! YEAH I WANNA GET FUCKED BY THE FIRES OF HELL!!!
HEY, IF I WASNT ON THE JOB ID TAKE CARE OF YOU RIGHT NOW.
O BABY YEAH! IM DROPPING BY YOUR PLACE TONIGHT WITH MY PANTIES IN MY HAND AND A 40!........SHIT IM HARD!

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