All comics by dallas911

Profile

 

by dallas911
1-19-08
9:30 a.m
So what was the bad news Kevin?
Your status with the voters is droping. They want to know who this Bimbo is in your prom photo.
WHAT! THAT BIMBO IS YOUR MOTHER!!!!
I better leave.
Where you goin Kev.
WHOS A BIMBO YOU BIG PRICK!!!

 

by dallas911
1-19-08
So were looking at a all time low on popularity for Mayor West.
Thats hard on all of us. But what are you getting at.
What did Mayor West hire you to do?
To repeatedly say i before e except after c.

 

by dallas911
1-19-08
I wanna score popularity points with the Catholics.
But you were at aTemple yesterday.
Yes But they dont know that you porch monkey
What the hell! Thats racist dude.
Yea your Mom was part black sorry Kev.
Oh go to Hell. Bastard

 

by dallas911
1-19-08
Um.... Excuse me.
Yes my child what is it.
Oh My little Billy.
Your staring at that 8 year old boy pretty hard.

 

by dallas911
1-19-08
Antonio and David.....
The Beta Squadron should be here any minute now
Two Guys......
So how are things goin with yo and Karen?
In their Mid-life Crisis
Menopause...........
Nuff Said...Nuff Said.

 

He Know when your sleeping
Ho..Ho..Ho
Sorry Im of the Clock right now. Talk to my pimp Big C.
by dallas911, 1-19-08

 

by dallas911
1-19-08
Hey Yall get Cletus I got Us a Fat one.
Excuse me sir but are you aware of Genitial Herpes?
Well Shucks no.Lil Critter.
Are you aware that you or yor sexual partner may have Herpes?
Well tie me down and rape me in my ass i didnt know that.
He probably Asymptomatic.

 

by dallas911
1-19-08
Where is Tyrone With Our Money?
He better not be gettin high on our Shit.
5 Blocks Away From Runi and Azamat
Cmon Hurry up Puff Puff Pass Nigga you know tha drill.
Man you a Stingy lil Weed Head or am i just too High?....

 

by dallas911
1-19-08
MILLER LITE MONTAUGE TAKE 1
Voters Want Action, and Honesty and... and..
TWINS!!!!!!
I WATCH FOOTBALL ON TV HATERS CANT SEE ME AND THEM
TWINS!!!!!!
I BREAK STUF WITH ROCKS HATERS CAN GO SUCK COCKS AND THEM TWINS!!!!!!

 

by dallas911
1-19-08
Hey Youngsta . You Holdin or What?
Yes Sir I got that Incredible Bulk and The Green Monster.
Hold on let me get my Weed Slang dictionary.
You might want to grab a thesarus while your at it.

 

by dallas911
1-19-08
Tyrone would you explain Einsteins Theory of Relativity the the class?
Sure Mrs. Aston
Psst! Get up Here.
...........C'mon do math......

 

by dallas911
1-21-08
Hey Tyrone you ever think that there is something out there for you beside sellin weed?
Hmmmm Yea.
Well what is it ?
............
Screwin a Nympho or sellin Uranium....The basic American Dream.

 

TYRONE!!!!!
C'mon Jesus do a Jump Kick.
by dallas911, 1-21-08

 

by dallas911
1-21-08
And this is......
A mixture of parking tickets, Warrants, Failing Report Cards and Letters of Child Support from a Tijuanna Hooker.
You Mean Melindi?
Yea....
Sucks to be you.
Well unlike you I dont have the Clam and crab connection goin on down there...

 

by dallas911
1-21-08
.......
I cant belive you.
You just had to pick up that lady.
Dude I didn't know.
Eddie Murphy made the same mistake.

 

by dallas911
1-21-08
This doesn't help the steriotype that all black guys look alike
.......
Was that your brother.

 

by dallas911
1-21-08
What can I do for you young dude.
Can I get a Nicklebag?
Well were gonna have to run a credit and background check to see if your eligible to buy.
..........
Do you have weed symptom insurance?
Can i get back to you on that?

 

by dallas911
4-02-08
Im here to apply for the positon of Human Resources.
.............
.......
Please fill in the job application and receive a cup for the random drug test.
So what happened about that job you were getting
Two words-Police Escort.

 

by dallas911
6-11-08
Hey What the hell are you doing on my computer
Playing Fantasy Football........
HELL HAS FROZEN OVER PEOPLE
..........eat me.

 

by dallas911
6-16-08
I have to keep focus
I have to matain strength and intelligence
Because the Harsh reality is.......
I gotta get a job

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