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| Good evening, and welcome to another edition of "Let's Light An Annoying Celebrity On Fire." Tonight, we're speaking with Academy Award nominee Ethan Hawke. | |
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| So Ethan, how does it feel to be recognized for a career with such highlights as "Mystery Date" and "The Newton Boys?" | |
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| Well, it's AAAHHHHHH! MY FLESH! | |
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| Thanks for watching. Tune in next week when we interview Ben Stiller. Get here early. He uses a lot of hair gel, so he's gonna go up fast. G'night, everybody! | |
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| WHY?! O CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN, WHYYYY?! | |
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