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| ...and due to the recent corporate scandals, our financial experts are expecting the stock market to go even deeper into the toilet. We're doomed. | |
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| ...despite yesterday's rally, we are still predicting misery and despair upon today's NASDAQ opening bell. Kill yourself now and avoid the rush. | |
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| Another rally yesterday? So fucking what? We're the financial experts, not you! Today's prediction? FROGS! That's right, bitches, FROGS! | |
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| Wow. Look at those veins on Louis Ruskeyer's forehead pulse! | |
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