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| 'scuse me, official looking airport person, can you tell us where we are? | |
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| But of course, my friend. You are in the tiny Republic of Ackthpftistan. | |
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| Indeed. No doubt you were lured here by our splendid scenery, our local color, our rich traditions! | |
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| Actually, I'm here because the guy in the hockey mask drugged me. | |
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| It matters not! All roads lead to Ackthpftistan! | |
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