All comics by djrecon83

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by djrecon83
7-27-03

 

by djrecon83
7-27-03
Somewhere in Japan...
Santa, we've been watching you for a while now. The kids seem to trust you, and you work at night like us. We need you on our team, nick. Work with me here.
Listen. I'm all about invading people's homes. But Santa doesnt do charity. So show me some presidents and we talk.
There hasnt been a human president for 100 years. I can introduce you to the current reptilian chancellor of earth, if that would please you. He's been busy on a big oil campaign lately but...
Whoa. I'm talking dead presidents. Benjamins. Greenbacks. Money!! Listen, I got 300 unionized elves to look out for..DO something for me..
Dont play reindeer games with me lunchbox. Go along with us, and you'll get the north pole. If not, we use the elves for fuel, and make you cut your beard.
No! ok, you got it. You can torch the elves for all i care, but the beard stays. I think if I saw my own chin I'd freak out.

 

by djrecon83
7-27-03
Mike Check 12:30 pm
I bet God is not a big fan of armies. Have you ever seen a military funeral? After burying someone who most likely was trying to kill one of his creations, a bunch of guys take out rifles..
and then proceed to fire bullets at the sky! Isnt that where heaven is supposed to be? What if God lives there? Do you think he'd be cool with that?
Stop with the alien talk. You are so fucking preachy.
Whatever. So did you see Britney's abs on trl yesterday? you can wash clothes on that six pack! For an inferior species, she's a dime piece..
I wish someone would turn me off forever.

 

by djrecon83
7-29-03
Grey Man Group
"A" is for aliens for we are the best
"B" is for bombaclots, booties and breasts
"C" is for candy to take from a baby
"D" is for Dracula dressed like a lady
"E" is for Endor, the Ewoks taste good
burn down their forests, and cook them with wood!

 

by djrecon83
7-29-03
whoa...
A 2 year old boy is being sought for the alleged shooting of his mother and her priest tonight..thats coming up..
here we go..
..but first a sneak preview of a new reality tv show..brought to you by the creators of Joe Suicide..
Fox: When Democracie$ go Wild
We defintelly got our moneys worth out of this Murdoch guy.
Tonight at 8PM: Watch the barbarian hordes of 3rd world countries be crushed under the weight of military superiority and brutality! With your sassy host Carmen Elektra..

 

by djrecon83
8-08-03
Satan.
...hey Mike, hows it going.
SATAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
You still got it kid..
Satan is king, baby.

 

by djrecon83
12-14-03
Tonight's feature: Wu-Tang
Aiyyo, camoflouge chameleon, ninjas scalin your buildin
No time to grab the gun they already got your wife and children
A hit was sent, from the President, to rage your residence
Because you had secret evidence, and documents
on how they raped the continents, and it's the prominent
dominant Islamic, Asiatic black hebrew

 

by djrecon83
12-14-03
PT 2
The year two thousand and two, the battle's filled with the Wu
Six million devils just died from the Bubonic Flu
Or the Ebola Virus, under the reign of King Cyrus
You can see the weakness of a man right through his iris
Un-loyal snakes get thrown in boilin lakes
of hot oil, it boils your skin, chickenheads gettin slim

 

by djrecon83
12-14-03
PT 3
like Olive Oyl, only plant the seed deep inside fertile soil
Fortified with essential, vitamin and minerals
Use the sky for a blanket, stuffin clouds inside my pillow
Rollin with the lambs
Twelve tribes a hundred and forty four thousand chosen
Protons Electrons Always Cause Explosions

 

by djrecon83
12-20-03
People should use genetic engineering to make small versions of really big animals.
you could make a business out of that.
fuckin A right. Like selling Rhinos the size of a housecats. That would be awesome.
I would make a Shark that breathes fire Underwater.
I would make a Killer whale that shoots Sharks that breathe fire out of its mouth.
Ok, you win.

 

by djrecon83
12-20-03
I just saw the trailer for the new Harry Potter.
It looks bad. They look like they are in grad school.
Maybe they should use their wands to make themselves cute kids again.
Those kids are super rich because of those movies. They don't give a shit. Ugly rich people are sexy.
If I was that rich, I'd use my wand to poke poor people in the eyes.
My eyes are yellow from snorting mustard.

 

by djrecon83
12-21-03
...deep in the cave of the Overlord, 100 miles beneath the Earth.
Mmm bop. skeet dee bop, dooo wop.
grr........
Give up? its Hanson, you retard!
I, Overlord, command you! Leave my sight before you are incinerated!
No one ever beats me in that game. Not even Overlord sassy pants.

 

by djrecon83
12-23-03
Is that Starbucks?
SILENCE!
*------*
Your voice is poison. Be gone from my sight. Get off my heatrock.
I may not have emotions, but I do have feelings..
Keep telling that to yourself.

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