All comics by donkeytom

Profile

 

by donkeytom
11-21-01
Listen...it's not too late
hey asshole, i'm talking to you

 

by donkeytom
11-22-01
am i dead?
yes
can i still watch porn?
no

 

by donkeytom
11-22-01
so i was fucking the hell out of this bitch last night
she was kinky as hell, kept calling me all kinds of fucked up shit
like 'dirty bastard' and 'please god don't rape me take anything you want.' crazy bitch

 

by donkeytom
11-22-01
why are you nailing youself to the cross jesus? huh? huh?
bitch
damn that jesus and his magic powers

 

by donkeytom
11-22-01
oh good, the VD clinic sent my results
that mexican prostitute lied to me!

 

by donkeytom
11-22-01
i like teddy bears
me too

 

by donkeytom
11-22-01
so apparently there's this black hole with the mass of 2.6 million suns
it's right at the center of our galaxy and the milky way is basicaly spiralling down into it like water down a drain
and sitting here at the peak of human evolution all anyone cares about is making a buck. it's depressing
i wonder what cat tastes like

 

by donkeytom
11-22-01
Thanksgiving in the NOC
                                 
                               
                                 

 

by donkeytom
11-22-01
so when quinn the eskimo gets here everyone will jump for joy
is he going to be some kind of new messiah? lord knows we need one...
god i need a hobby

 

by donkeytom
11-22-01
hey, you gonna eat that taco?
yes
cuz if you're not i'll take it
*sigh*
hey, can i have a sip of that before you drink any?

 

by donkeytom
11-22-01
me llamo roboto, quiero comer tus huevos
tienes que matarme primero, maquina sucia
esto es muy posible cabron
chingate bicho grande, luchamos!
ha ha...fue una chiste amigo, no quiero luchar contigo
es una buena cosa puta porque yo tengo una lata de 'wh00p ass'

 

by donkeytom
11-22-01
so this is the afterlife. figures.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

 

by donkeytom
11-23-01
the epic saga begins
what is this place?
what...happened to me last night
i remember having a couple drinks at ryan's and then what...

 

by donkeytom
11-23-01
i got in the car, didn't i? did i drive home?
hello?! can anyone hear me?!
what is happening to me?

 

by donkeytom
11-23-01
my mind is racing but my body feels strangely calm
my back doesn't even hurt! i can't remember the last time i could say that
why do i get the feeling i'm going to miss that pain?

 

by donkeytom
11-23-01
i'm dead
i... i remember headlights swerving towards me. i couldn't turn in time
it was a truck... i can still see the look on the guy's face

 

by donkeytom
11-23-01
god...it's true. is has to be, this is too real to be a dream
i guess i should be happy. i always said deep down i would be so glad to go
no more elitist bastards, no more worrying about how i look, no more anything

 

by donkeytom
11-23-01
no more pretending to care what people say
no more work
no more erin!

 

by donkeytom
11-23-01
i am nothing yet again. i don't think i can do this alone
if only i'd had more time...i would have made life better, made it worth living. i would have... i would have
fuck

 

by donkeytom
11-23-01
you know mr. happy, i like you. i like you a lot
well the feeling's mutual, gary
that's why this is so hard for me, you know?
no, what do you mean?
i'm not really a squirrel, i just told you that so you'd like me
well i faked my ograsm if that makes you feel any better

 

by donkeytom
11-23-01
so jesus, we meet again
what are you doing on this plane, lucifer?
business. no rest for the wicked i suppose. you?
same here. you know how god is. 'do this, do that... blah blah blah'
so you're still working for him?
yeah, it's not bad. i just hang out most of the time. har har

 

by donkeytom
11-23-01
kill your wife
but i'm not married
kill your boss
i'm self-employed
kill your cat
yes oh he-who-walks-in-shadow

 

by donkeytom
11-23-01
so what do you think about the war in Afghanistan, dogonaball1?
LICK MY BALLZ BIZZZATCH!!
seriously, do you subjugating our freedom to find one man is warranted?
LICK MY NUT SACK BIAAAATCH!!!
fine, why don't you just go fuck yourself then, asshole?
LICK MY BALLZ BIZZZATCH!!

 

by donkeytom
11-23-01
i really should do some work instead of making these stupid comics
or at least do some studying during the slow times
nah, i'll just read some customer email

 

by donkeytom
11-26-01
hi crabby, what's going on?
shut the fuck up
i'm kind of new here, i was wondering if you could show me around
get me a drink
sure, what's your poison?
get me a 'shut the fuck up and die you piece of shit newbie'

 

by donkeytom
11-27-01
i want Afghan Refugee Barbie and a Cappuccino machine...
and i want to be rage-fucked by the reincarnation of john holmes and three horse-cocked black men ...
and a pony

 

by donkeytom
11-27-01
YO, YOU WANT TO BUY SOME CRACK?!
no thank you
YO, YOU WANT TO BUY SOME CRACK?!
i don't talk to strangers
it's dad
oh, ok. how much for a gram?

 

by donkeytom
11-27-01
Captain Combat says...
remember kids: if there's a loaded gun in the room, be sure that you're the one holding it

 

by donkeytom
11-27-01
uhhhhhhh
holy fuck!
fine. we'll see who laughs last when someone doesn't get their Barbie 'Bake with Me' Oven

 

by donkeytom
11-27-01
is everything ready for tonight, Beezlebub?
yes my lord
you got the salad tongs and the ky jelly?
yes my lord
great. better start stretching
damn that licensing agreement

 

by donkeytom
11-30-01
is it a boy or a girl?
oh, it's precious little girl thank you so much for asking
i wasn't talking about the baby

 

by donkeytom
11-30-01
i'm running out of ideas for comics, gary
poop is funny
i was hoping to raise the bar a little, you know?
do something different, think outside the box
i eat my own poop

 

by donkeytom
12-09-04
what do you think of all the bats?
what bats?
you know...the bats
ohhh...the bats. yeah, they're crazy
this here is bat country
don't call it a comeback

Showing page 1.