All comics by drunkenboat

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by drunkenboat
5-19-03
To be, or not to be: that is the...
Shit.
question.

 

by drunkenboat
5-19-03
To pee, or not to pee: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the pants to suffer the tingling burbles of a raging bladder, or to take arm against a sea of urine and by releasing end it?
To drain: to leak;

 

by drunkenboat
5-19-03
To leak: perchance to fart...
Ay, there's the rub!
For in that breath of ass what things may come. Will I have shuffled off a mortal coil, moist in my pants?

 

by drunkenboat
5-19-03
Shit, I gotta go.
Fuck it.
Psssssssss...
Ah...

 

by drunkenboat
5-19-03
Psssssssss...
Psssssssss...
Psssssssss...

 

by drunkenboat
5-19-03
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
Thus does our shit make cowards of us all?
Our hero is sicklied o'er by the pale crust of shit.
There is more shit in heaven and earth...
What a piece of shit is a man...

 

by drunkenboat
5-19-03
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
Though this be madness, yet there are kernels of corn in it.
Soft you now, Ophelia.
You pissed yourself.
The End.
Damn. I thought I was Ophelia.
Boo fucking hoo. I thought I was the shit.

 

by drunkenboat
5-20-03
Oh... fuck.
Um. Okay. If that's what you want to do.
triceratopless16: I'M SMOKING AND HORNY. WHAT DO YOU LOOK LIKE?

 

by drunkenboat
5-21-03
We are the GAYBERG BROTHERS!
I'm Barry Gayberg.
And I'm Harry Gayberg.
This is Emo Philipino. And this is... BOOCOCKY!
A lady came up to me once and said, didn't I see you on the internet? I said, I don't know, rady, you can't see out from the other side. With your eyes dotted.
Joorankenuboto wa ookii nee!!!
Is my face white or what ?

 

by drunkenboat
5-21-03
Say there my sexy scaled seductress, Sibilant Simon says show me...
...the door.
Oh this feels liberating! Ooongawa!
Your cane is on my tit.

 

by drunkenboat
5-21-03
Oh... I can't watch.
3... 2... CHOMP!
Can I have that?
One last taste, sweet, sweet hood.
You are my best friend, Filtered Militant Dinosaur Foreskin!
FUCK THE ANTEATERS!

 

by drunkenboat
5-23-03
There once was a giant fish--its back was one billion dollars across, lengthwise. Its name was Roe; it carried on its immense back an ocean. You wouldn't believe its enormous tentacled fishcock.
In the ocean on Roe's back lived two fish of little consequence--hereafter known as Mum and Dad--with oldstyle fins and gills. Their frenetic fishfucking fabricated five thousand fish and a third.
This.
This.
The third was an allegorically ugly fucking duckling. This is neither what it looked like nor how it saw itself and they weren't the same either.
hi
deous

 

by drunkenboat
5-23-03
Like all ugly unloved children it turned to sex for surrogate nourishment of self-esteem. It fucked and was fucked.
Love?
No, that's devildick, duckface.
Fisted and was fisted.
Love?
Is it in yet, sweetie?
So forth, so on, whatnot have you.
Turn your head and cough.
You're not one of the medics. Cough. Love?

 

by drunkenboat
5-23-03
Oh, the games kids play.
Fuck...
Fuck...
Fuck...
Fuck...
Fuck...
This.

 

by drunkenboat
5-23-03
This is what the kid really looked like. Kids don't have a face. It's usually painted on in the cocoon of gonadolescence. Usually donning their parents oldstyle fins and gills.
Love?
Then life's devildicked henchmen lift the curtain for good to an audience of autumn and the cycle of seasons...
I fucked him.
She fucked me.
Lo and behold, the kid has blossomed into a beautiful blonde buck who hates both injustice and mercy and who cannot fuck...
Not omnipotent...
I am Impotent! Captain Impotent!

 

by drunkenboat
5-23-03
Captain Impotent fights for justice with the sublimated unsatisfied sexual energy that only an impotent man has, aided by his crusty dried dick, Clappy.
You're dripping.
The populace yearns for some of his good old corporeal punishment, but Captain Impotent has vowed chastity until injustice is vanquished forever, though he couldn't have sex if he wanted to anyway.
With your wrinkly pussy you can't... I mean, I love justice too much to be your lover.
Whatever, bitch.
His is a sweaty love affair with justice, the passion of which dwarfs even Roe's gargantuan fishcock.
Look, it's a swan.

 

by drunkenboat
5-25-03
To be or not to be, that is...
the shit.
Question.

 

by drunkenboat
5-25-03
To be or not to be; that is...
the shit.
Question.
Yes, I would like a pudding pop.

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