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The revision process continues.
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| The dialogue is just too on-the-nose. In real life, people don't explain everything this way. Honest conversation is oblique. | |
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| My problem is that, in the beginning, I saw dialogue as merely a vehicle to advance the story. | |
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Our hero's turn-ons include brilliant, eerily perceptive men.
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| I can't believe you wrote that line at the end of Chapter 18. Delete that shit right the hell now. | |
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| I know! That one definitely goes in the "What the Fuck Was I Thinking?" category. | |
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Of course, that would present problems of its own.
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| That bit with the nipple-teasing was solid gold, but the eye contact ruined it for me. | |
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| Too derivative, right? I'll cop to that, but what did you think of the leather underwear? | |
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