All comics by elevenbirds

 

by elevenbirds
8-26-09
hey man, you feel like mexican today?
actually i sorta feel like chinese
perfect
my parents gave me up for adoption because i'm nto a boy...want some eggroll?

 

by elevenbirds
8-26-09
i took the most awful shit this morning
...
i think it cut my butthole
why are you telling me this
sometimes you just gotta talk about poop, ya know?
true

 

by elevenbirds
8-26-09
you know trex, you've really been letting your work pile up
whacha gonna do about it....jeeesus?
extinction eh?

 

by elevenbirds
8-27-09
brrrrrr
well...my ride's leaving...maybe i could get your number?
rrrrrrrmmp
is that that a yes?
sorry i was farting, its 451 5400
jee actually this is movin kinda fast, i don't do farts until at least the third date

 

by elevenbirds
8-28-09
You know that yada yada yada seinfeld episode?
i'm familiar
Wouldn't it be awesome if we could apply that to jokes...you know yada yada yada then the punchline?
That's an appalling idea you lazy philistine! How dare you try reduce the comedic art to formulaic drivel! Go watch Friends!
so yada yada yada bananas foster!!
bwahahahahaha!!!

 

by elevenbirds
8-28-09
hey loose cooch! Your giant black dildo came in the mail!!!
my....what?
That neon pink package that I just dropped off on your desk! Says Giant Black Didlo on it!!! And your name!! Triceratops!!! In flashing lights!
....oh god...
didn't think the discrete shipping was worth the extra money eh?
.....

 

by elevenbirds
8-30-09
you got a permit for those?
for what?
those guns you sexy beast! where ya headed sugar lips?
....................work. I know someone who would absolutely love you.
yummmers. whats your name candy pants?
You're not actually a cop....are you?

 

by elevenbirds
1-19-10
i just have to do it man....i hate dumping people, i never know what to say
just have someone tell her you died. its what i do
didnt you just dump sarah? in accounting?
yeah? so?
she works in our office! she hasn't confronted you?
No, she has. I just told her she was rascist for thinking all dinosaurs look alike. Problem solved.

 

by elevenbirds
2-01-10
I think I prefer the term of a spouse as a partner
Oh yeah?
Wife is such a loaded term. It conveys an image of some subservient woman whose supposed to clean and cook me dinner.
mmmhmm
I'd rather think of the woman I love to be my partner in life.
Huh. I never assumed it was about partnership. I thought it was about cowboys being gay.

 

by elevenbirds
2-02-10
So hows your night class going? Anthropology right?
Yeah. Its alright, except me and this black girl got into a huge argument last class.
What about?
She claimed African Americans never participated in blackface. I disagreed. So next class I'm bringing the book I read it in.
To rub it in her face?
I was going to go with, "In your blackface!"

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