All comics by ems73000

 

John Locke can suck a mother fucking dick. by ems73000 1-07-03
When a state of anarchy exists.... A putter. Putter? Putter. A putting green. A putteen? If you like potatoes say OH YEAH!! Would you stop it with the goddamn Tom Green impressions? We're in the OLIVE GARDEN! This is a classy joint...	the default social contract....... This frozen Tiramisu is loaded with booze. Yaaaaaaaaaba daba dooo!!!	is 3rd grade lunch table rules. Um, one of us has to drive home. NOT IT! NOT IT! NO BACKSIES!

 

My REAL ex-girlfriend doesn't wear a diaper.... by ems73000 1-07-03
...but that's about the only difference. Have you ever seen Sex and the City? I couldn't date any of those girls. Something about them just sickens me. Really? Why?	BEST SHOW EVER!!!!	You know, I really have no idea. Funny how those things work.

 

Aircraft Performance is gonna be fun this semester... by ems73000 1-11-03
Alright class, now it's really important to pay attention in here. There's a lot of material from Aerodynamics you're expected to just know. Anyone here from Greece? Um....I have a question...on....	I've been to Greece, beautiful country. Nightclub bouncers are big guys. Death Valley's below sea level. I drank bourbon out of a jug with a dead snake in it once. Hey look over there! ....figuring out.....density altitude?	Quiz Wednesday on everything you learned a semester of Aerodynamics! I knew he was gonna do that.

 

I just thought this was funny, it doesn't really make sense by ems73000 1-12-03
Nothing exciting here. Dum de dum dum	Nothing could be more ordinary Nope	WOAH! Didn't expect that to happen I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL!

 

Unlimited salad, breadsticks, and PLAGARISM!!!! by ems73000 1-12-03
(The Olive Garden offers to put cheese on EVERYTHING) Would you like some cheese on your CHECK?!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!	Gene and Stilke are STUPID. Their humor is very abstract.	Later that night..... So then I said....Would you like some cheese on your CHECK?!? Oh Brian you're so witty! I'm so lucky to be your ambiguous girlfriend. You're just the kind of person I'd sort of like for my husbandy friend kinda guy.

 

Sometimes my inspiration comes right from the source. by ems73000 1-13-03
That last cartoon strip, was that supposed to be Kristen or Kory? Kristen.	Oh really? Cuz it sounded more like Kory. Oh wow, I hadn't even thought of making fun of her! Thanks!!	I got you a part in a major comic strip. This might be your big break into the music industry. Awesome! Well, I have to go to a family reunion-slash-intervention-slash-singles mixer. Peace out, my nizzle.

 

I'm the Jimmy Carter of comixxxxxx by ems73000 1-13-03
I want to be in another comixxxx You have to do something first, you can't just BE in one	I refuse to do anything! .......	......... Ok fine.

 

Would you like some cheese on that WASTE OF $40,000?!? by ems73000 1-13-03
I can't wait to get my CFI so I can start sending in resumes with James and Brian! You have such a good career lined up!	I remember when they used to give you a blow job just for applying. They would be like "here's your blowjob james." I really want a blow job. Hi, I was calling to see if you're hiring any Flizzle Instrizzles, I dropped off a resumizzle a few weeks agizzle.	Ummm.......yeah, it's right on top of the pile. Tell him it was almost as delicious as his childhood dreams!

 

I'm thinking of tying myself to a rocket for performance. by ems73000 1-13-03
Ok class, you can use your notes to take the quiz, but what you CAN'T use to take the quiz....is your NOTES. I hope that's clear	Um...wait I'm confused. Well then you must be a pot head. HAHAHA! I'm just kidding. But I'm still gonna ignore you.	I pay your salary. No you don't. I'm tenured, I get paid no matter what. mmmmBEEP BEEP!!! :::POOF:::

 

This needs no explanation by ems73000 2-04-03
Zoom Schwartz	Omit Undefined	Theri Pickens DESTROY!!!!!!

 

This was pretty much all we did for the past 2 weeks. by ems73000 2-20-03
I'm hungry. But I'll probably end up stuck at the Ale House eating french onion soup. AGAIN! So today in Performance class we're going to talk about AIDS in Africa, itchy pussies, camels, Sophie's Choice, home ec class,	mmmm french onion soup. mmmm, masturbation. Shit, he finished a sentence. You better ask something pertinent. Japanese cars, gay bars in Key West, programming calculators, Ovid, thrust and power-required curves....OH! And masturbation.	Um, why can't you find L/Dmax AND best range speed on the power required curve for a turbine aircraft? I'm pretty sure the whole class is wondering this. And I assume that's the point of this unit. Ummm.....yeah I dunno whatever. ......True or false. AIDS is a big problem in Africa. That's vury true. That's vury vury true. Vury big problem. Whose pussy itches?

 

Flight STUPERvisor! by ems73000 2-20-03
Hi, the ceilings are too low for commercial maneuvers, so I'd like to weather my flight. I'm sorry, we don't have any airplanes available. Come back later.	I'm not trying to get an airplane. I'm telling you that I'm NOT going to go flying today. I'm CANCELLING a flight. Yyyyyyyyeah, you can't just come in here and take an airplane, we have too many scheduled flights today, we're stretched really thin. Don't ever come in here again with that cocky swagger.	My dad writes this school checks indiscriminantly. Alright, sir. Your flight is cancelled, and I've arranged for you to have your toes sucked by Buzz Aldrin.

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