All comics by erithromycin

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by erithromycin
2-19-01
Averting his eyes, our bold hero confronts his foe.
You have enslaved too many of my people with your mind-controlling moving pictures, and now you must perish!
You will never triumph, for you are weak!
Nothing will stop your destruction! Die, hellspawn, die!
Tonight on Hot Naked Teen Television, Nympho Asian Cheerleader Slut Gangbang II.
Is it in widescreen?

 

by erithromycin
2-19-01
Cell 17 - Johnson, M.
What are you doing with that hammer? You're not planning to break out and steal the laundry truck, are you?
Yup.
Cell 18 - Adler, T.
Kevin! They broke Mikey! We're made!
Cell 19 - Smith, K.
It's alright Tommy! We'll get what we need for the show somehow!
I know I'm a figment of your imagination, but surely you could have just asked if you could perform "Romeo & Juliet" for the other inmates?

 

by erithromycin
2-19-01
Oh great one, I have brought you a third-generation copy of a demo tape that I have written on in green ink. My band covers Motown standards using sitars.
Does it have harmonies?
Of course, oh great one.
Then it is not indie.

 

by erithromycin
2-19-01
Meanwhile, back at the rave...
Ahem.
Throw your hands in the air, wave them like you just don't care! Throw your hands in the air, wave them like you just don't care! Throw your hands in the air! Wave them like you just don't care!
Maybe I'm not being clear. If your hands aren't in the air, I'll shoot you.

 

by erithromycin
2-19-01
Exterior, Presidential Palace, Day.
We, the Popular Front for Revolutionary Liberation, have vanquished the old regime! The chains of your repression are broken comrades!
We're in charge...
Dance peasants! Dance or die!

 

by erithromycin
2-19-01
Hustler TV: Voiceover Studio 2
You're watching Hustler Television, the station so hot even I'm naked.
Studio Guy: That's great! Can we get the second part of the trail?
Sure. Hang on. Rolling? In fact, it's so hot that I'm going to have to run the cool metal of the microphone all over my body.
Fantastic!
Studio Guy: Well? My disbelief's about done being suspended. Get to it!
Plug me in!

 

by erithromycin
2-19-01
Cannibal Inc. - Serving you
Hey pally! What you staring at?

 

by erithromycin
2-20-01
Exterior, Beach, Day
So she says to me "I don't like to see men crying. I never cry. You should be stronger than that".
Heavy.
So I say "What? So my this whole sensitive guy thing is a myth?"
Heavy.
So she says "yeah", and smacks me with a chair.
Also heavy. Did you cry then too?

 

by erithromycin
2-20-01
You know what really annoys me?
Beyond when you use the word "my" randomly in sentences?
How my the hell did you notice that?
Doesn't matter. What really annoys you?
Women.
That'd be funnier if you were getting some.

 

by erithromycin
2-22-01
I was talking to this girl. She likes me a lot. I like her an awful lot too. We're both young, single, and find each other sexually attractive. We've got great chemistry. I like her taste in music.
She's gotten me drunk on a number of occasions. I get on really well with her housemates and her friends are fast becoming my friends. We've almost had sex three times.
That's why it makes perfect sense for us to never talk to each other again.
That would be funnier if you were getting any.

 

by erithromycin
2-22-01
I'm not happy about this. I'm perfectly content to indulge in self-deprecating humour, but this verges on self-abuse.
That's only funny because you're not getting any.
Thrum.
Eh?
Now I'm happy.

 

by erithromycin
2-22-01
In a statement supplied to us by erithromycin enterprises europe, our remote and callous manipulator declared his intentions.
"I will, as long as I remain unbored, use lowpass to inflict the cruelties I experience and cause within my life upon people entirely unconnected to me."
Pain = Amusement
"I will also attempt to explore the potentials offered by this medium to indulge my whims as regards structure, theme, and content."
"I make no apologies for the nature of my strips, nor for the fact that I seek purity of composition through the maintanence of artistic continuity."
It's therefore very handy that there are these nifty kofightclub watchmen/penny-arcade tributes. Superheroes are great, aren't they?

 

by erithromycin
2-23-01
I won't lie and say that I've slept with a lot of people. They'd fit on the fingers of one hand. A friend told me the rough basis she believed women used when deciding to have sex with me.
She described me as "attractive to those who wish to experiment, who wish to make their boyfriend jealous, to move on within the social group we inhabit". I paraphrase, but that's the gist.
Which is fine with me.

 

by erithromycin
2-23-01
Anonymous Vast Corporation, Day
What's this? An applicant for my old job? I'm a honcho now, but that job was awful.
Possibility of promotion in rank has its good stuff, but who would want a crappy job doing what I did?
Working in a chronotransportation division sucks.
What's this? An applicant for my job?

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