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As part of America's continuing effort to keep the world safe for democracy, President W declares war on the sun!
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| Folks, I'm tellin' ya, war with the sun is just plain good for the economy. | |
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| We've already made some trillion-dollar spaceship-building contracts. And our victory will mean lots of new jobs at your local power company! | |
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Regular citizens support the war 100%!
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| When a drought wipes out your crops, whose fault is it? That's right, it's the sun's fault. | |
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| How about all the elderly who die of heat stroke? Or all the victims of skin cancer? | |
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The nation's best and brightest fight bravely on the front line!
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| Having a giant ball of flaming gas a mere 8 light minutes from Earth just ain't safe. It's our duty to blow it up, before it goes supernova and kills us all! | |
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| Some say we're fighting an impossible battle, but with good ol' Yankee determination on our side, we can win anything! | |
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