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| I'm really depressed, Mr. Voltaire. My girlfriend broke up with me. | |
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| Girlfriend?? Be thankful you haven't yet lost a limb and been sold into slavery! Take it from me, kid, everybody in the world thinks they have the most miserable sob story anybody ever heard! | |
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| I never thought about that. I guess they can't all be right. | |
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| The hell they can't! Life is nothing but an unending stream of pain and misfortune -- and don't even start with me about how there must be some kind of reason or purpose to it! | |
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| So, life sucks and then you die, is that it? | |
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| You wish! Life sucks and then you think you're going to die, but you get spared so you can suffer some more! If you want my advice, find a hobby that keeps you too busy to get into trouble. | |
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