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| The Hunger Games are an annual event in which 24 random teenagers fight to the death for no good reason. Of course WE don't know anyone who'd want to watch such a barbaric display, do we, viewer? | |
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| Because this is Bizarro World, adults all tolerate this arrangement and no teenage boys are eager to participate. By the way, please pardon my non-ridiculous hair; my stylist has the day off. | |
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| I'm a good-looking underdog from a poor rural district. I'm only here because I'm deeply compassionate, and I have to rely on my wits and independent spirit to succeed. | |
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| And I'm secretly in love with her! If you still think there's the slightest chance that one of us might NOT win, get this: you're not even going to learn the names of most of the other contestants. | |
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| Well, I sure am glad I managed to get through this without having to make any difficult ethical decisions or be directly responsible for anyone else's death. | |
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| And I'm glad that pining for a pretty girl was enough to compensate for my lack of other interesting character traits. Just like in real life! | |
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