All comics by figaro

 

by figaro
2-29-08
Okay, I'm going out late for lunch today mainly because I wanted to see at least 700 posts on this thread, and now I do. Mission accomplished.
I've already been online (on and off) for most of the morning, and I don't plan to do the same for the rest of the day. So I'll catch you all later.
Now don't start whining that I'm "copping out" by finally hitting a cafe for some nourishment. Just save your questions for next time, and I'll answer them all, don't worry.

 

by figaro
2-29-08
Imagine a whole board filled with people who make Ed Gauthier seem normal. Then imagine that it's really easy to get banned for complaining about stuff the trolls have been doing.
You guys think you have problems over at TCJ? Try posting on the DC boards for a month without going completely insane.
Dumas, you wouldn't by any chance happen to be a Dark Pickle sock, would you?

 

by figaro
3-01-08
Ohn ohn ohn! At last Danny has agreed to meet in gay Paree! This will show ze guttersnipes zat I am a real person!
Jesus, Vap! Been sampling your own product again?
Oo ees zees "Vap"?
Make yourself at home, Hunchie! Er, I mean, Monsieur Hellman!
Shut up and restock my minibar, gnome!

 

by figaro
3-01-08
So, Danny, at last we meet! I see you didn't bring Linda with you.
What, are you crazy? I wouldn't let you near my family!
What's funny is that you continue to pay attention to me. It's like you're obsessed with me and everything about me.
Yeah, whatever, Vap. Are there any clean towels in this dive? I wanna take a shower to wash the stink of this town off of me. I still can't believe I agreed to this.
They're in the closet, next to the Geedis shrine. Be careful around those candles.
Seek help, Vap.

 

by figaro
3-02-08
Sorry Dumas, it's just a fact of life. I've picked up countless girls at coffee shops by ostentatiously reading Optic Nerve. How many times has that Ultimate Sub-Mariner helped you pull ass?
I tend to agree with Noah Berlatsky. It's hard to get excited about the kinds of stuff Dick Hyacinth likes when so much of it seems boring, pointless and badly drawn.
I have a hard time telling what makes one boring, badly drawn "slice of life" comic better than other examples from that subgenre. I find Evan Dorkin funny sometimes, but otherwise...
To stretch my weak analogy, I've been told that I'm not a "real" punk fan because I like melodic stuff by people who can tune their guitars (London Calling by The Clash, to cite one obvious example)..

 

by figaro
3-02-08
Is he still there?

 

by figaro
3-04-08
So, Hunchie, how are you enjoying your stay in Paris?
For Christ's sake, Vap, knock it off! Your delusions are getting the better of you!
Who's "Vap"? I have no idea who that is, but I'm very angry that you think I'm him! Or her. Whichever.
Vap, please listen to reason. For the sake of your family...
Speaking of family, have you met Junior?
Dammit, Figaro, this is dangerously close to libel!!!

 

by figaro
3-04-08
so they had sex untill they were unable to
and she he was forgotten by the abyss that swept them both away
while shopping at Wal-Mart for tooth brushes.
Go, daddy-O!

 

by figaro
3-05-08
Vap, what is with that kid of yours? Even for your family, he's pretty creepy.
Jealous, eh? Let's just say he takes after the old man in many ways.
Brrrr!!! I'm not even gonna ask!
In fact, right now he's taking care of some important legal paperwork for me.
SUBPEONA ROOM DO NOT DISTRUB!!!
April 1, Guttersnipes! *laughing*

 

by figaro
3-06-08
Why don't you fucking get a confidant, a real friend, maybe a puppy,(i'm sure Ed has some to spare from his litter.), instead of using this place of all mess boards to emote your buttwhining?
Dude, chill out.There are other ways to go about this.
Whoa! It's Brad Pitt as Fight Club's Tyler! What are you doing here?
Oh, I got into this big argument over at the DC boards with this Dumas guy about Mr. Mxyzptlk and whether or not he could kick Krypto's ass. Some of the people there are so goddamned insensitive...

 

by figaro
3-07-08
Go fuck yourself, asshole, for calling me a liar.
Back when you were in pain, I was the ONLY ONE on this forum to sympathise with you.
Some "Christian" you are, wretch.
This is the sound of me weeping.

 

by figaro
3-08-08
Comics made with stripcreator just prove that being cruel doesn't take much work or talent.
It's nice that you admit that you're a child abuser. That ought to go down well at the trial.
I can't believe I died for these assholes' sins.

 

by figaro
3-09-08
Well, Vap, I wish I could say it's been fun, but it's time for me to leave this shithole.
Wait....you still think I'm Vap?
'Bye, Vap... don't forget to see that doctor I told you about, OK? It's long overdue.
Sacre bleu!
Good news, Alex! He totally bought it!
Ohn ohn ohn!

 

by figaro
3-10-08
I shovel when I go to work. I shovel when I go home for lunch. I shovel when I come back from work in the evening.
For the most part you are a bunch of snow pussies!
Stupid Paulo Keefe!

 

by figaro
3-11-08
Hey Ed, when are we going to get to see some of your old strips?
I'm not doing it for FREE, you MORON! Like Hunter correctly guessed, I'm now open to PAYING gigs only.
I don't do anything for free, you CLOD, which includes running errands for you. Nobody has to "show" or "prove" every little item they might refer to during conversations in various posts.
It's OK, I understand. I'm a sad li'l mans.

 

by figaro
4-10-08
It seems our favorite hunchback has gone AWOL.
I'm concerned...I hope some misfortune hasn't befallen him.
Maybe he got a letter in the mail threatening his family and has better things to do than post on a messageboard, Jack.
Wait, I'm jack now? I thought you were jack...

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