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Jaques Valdez, the evil twin of Juan Valdez, spreads his gospel of evil.
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| Hello! I am Jaques Valdez! Please take a moment to drink my French Roast Coffee! | |
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| Sure.. BLEAH!!! This stuff takes like crap! What did you do, burn it? Ugh... ! Blech! | |
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| Ah, just let it float on your pallette! Let it tingle on your taste buds! | |
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| I don't think I have any taste buds LEFT! | |
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| Ah, now you can truly appreciate Starbucks! | |
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