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| ...and that's the weather! In other news today, Jesus returned to Earth, and boy does he have a mad on! Here's Buffy Buffet with a report! | |
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| Thanks, Jim! Jesus Christ rampaged across North America today, laying waste to everything in his path! Millions were killed or injured. | |
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| Jerry Falwell was heard to say, "This is the fault of the homosexuals and atheists," as Jesus impaled him on a giant, fiery dildo. | |
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| Spankling! Get your white ass in here! I have a job for you! | |
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