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| Mr. President! After your statement about "Ass Destruction," the nation is in panic! | |
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| Mostly in the Bible Belt. There's rioting in Nashville, and Kansas City is ablaze! | |
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| Oh m' God! Is there any GOOD news? | |
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| I don't know about you, but I'm making a killing on my Fire Extinguisher stocks! | |
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| Now that y' mention it, I should check my stock in Preparation H! | |
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