All comics by general_monkeyspunk

Profile

 

so you're all that's left huh?
oh great, your kind are back. we hate your kind. you used to step on us and spray us but now we're bigger and we can talk and we still hate you.
now please put a shirt on at least.
god i really hate bugs.

 

your new ass is ready!
DID YOU INSTALL CUTE DIMPLES AS I INSTRUCTED?(beep)
well sure, we even shined the rims for ya too...
NO SHIT?!
well not till ya put at least 500 miles on it!

 
wow keanu, you look like shit man.
dude being The One is hard work dude but it pays most excellently
yeah, but big willy style would still whup your ass in a "save the universe" contest.
hey as long as i outdid pauly shore i think i did just fine..whoohoo! SAND...DIMAS!!!!

 
the bloody-el issat?
most scientists will neiter confirm or deny that the mentally challenged are actually multidimensional time tourists.
i'm goin' out me head guvnor...

 

hi..welcome to chickenhateyburgers. how can i ruin your day prick?
ya'know, i bet you're gonna love our new punch you in the ass chicken crunchers, they're crunchy the chicken's favorites!
Buddah's 1st of the 4 noble truths - life is suffering.
well you can just give me your order whenever you're ready sir!

 

so i sez to her you think im puttin my lugnuts in that thing you're crazy lady, then she started punchin me in the ass, dentin' it all up, and that's why i had to drop 200 bucks on a new ShinyAss5000.
but anyways, whatcha think man - that MF Doom shiz was dope, right?
why are you robots such suckers for hiphop?
it's oldschool man, it's truly oldschool. ask Bambatta.

 

hmmm...i don't think these high chairs are industry standard...

 

please don't go!
yeah right, i am so outta here.
no please! it's because my butt squeaks, isn't it?
no, i can fix that with my caulk. it's your program baby, day after day it's like an endless goto loop...
but i can reboot, i promise! (boohoobeep)...
whatever, I just need my SCSI drive defragged so i can think straight...

 

howdy bitches! i'm one of the many bugs who hides in your house and rubs his butt on your toothbrush when you're sleeping.
today i'm here to talk to you about a very serious topic - germs.
personally, i just love em...and leave em. but maybe you might wanna buy a new tootbrush soon...

 

i told you, i ain't got no damn threefiddy!

 

well schucks alien, you sure do know how to probe a feller, yessum. now, where is it you done brang me?
it's uh...my trailer...right out behind hangar 18
that place they talk about like on them megadeth albums?
uh...yeah, that place.
ya think ya maybe can get me an autograph?
yeah...i'm a dirty, dirty spaceman.

 

so is this where you've been going for your "me" time?
hey it's quiet, no horny teenages to torment me here.
yeah, but there's nothing to kill here either tho. and i know how much you love to kill, so what gives man?
i don't know, i'm losing my touch...too much competition i think. how can i compete with a glowing ring, or that thing in cloverfield?
hey, you're OG, you're oldschool, you were scaring the hell outta kids back when steve gutenberg was relevant!
yeah i guess i am oldschool...but i do think you're giving way too much credit to people.

 

I USED TO BE JUST LIKE YOU WHEN I GOT HERE MAN!!!

 

ah Matisse, you dull bastard, you've sapped artistic progression for all mankind...
why isn't there any art made out of velvet here?...hm, ah well, i wonder what brains taste like...
doug! is that you buddy?
aw man, if he brings up that whole yellow cake uranium thing i'm leaving...
hey did you get that package i sent you? the one with the big orange sticker on it?
ah yeah! hey thanks, i'm totally gonna power my house with that stuff. get off the grid as they say. just took a few hours to figure out how to handle the stuff...

 

WELCOME TO THE ROBOT NIGHTMARE!!!
WHERE ROCKING TECHNO MUSIC SENDS YOU INTO THE SOUL OF THE MACHINE
AND BOTTLED WATER IS $5!

Showing page 1.