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| You see, ladies and gentlemen, I'm not a little girl at all. It is time to reveal my true identity, Major League slugger Barry Bonds. | |
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| I wanted to be in the tournament, but the rules forbade professional athletes - so I had my doctors inject me with a medicine that would give me the physical form of a little girl. | |
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| Didn't you wonder how I managed not to age at all since August 2003? | |
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