All comics by hbombs

 

by hbombs
3-06-05
SUNRISE after a great night at bar none pete makes another mess on joeys coat in particular
but wait THERES MORE
is that YOUR vomit...on MY coat!? NICE JOB
MOOKY STUNNED AT THE TURN OF EVENTS
WE AINT MEETIN NO BROADS WERE GOIN RIGHT TO THE HOSPITAL
JEEEESUS CHRIIIIIIIIIST
me mike h in the aftermath of a car ride with vomit that smelled like shrimp in a diaper
this night is OVER
i knew i shouldve just stayed in

 

by hbombs
3-06-05
AFTER spending the entire night making eye contact with him the gorgeous girl decides to approach mooky at the bar
id love to take you back to my dormroom and bang you silly
JEEEESUS CHRIIIIIST LEEEAVE ME ALOOOOONE
mooky tends 2 get very calm cool and collected around broads almost to the point of clinical death
wow youre psychotic
HEY LISTEN KNOWATIMEAN
as you now know the reason he goes thru this facade is to mask the fact that he is clearly a basketcase underneath ENTER me who knows this
JESUS calm as a hindu cow right up until she sauntered over here werent u
i blame alesci

 

by hbombs
3-08-05
after a night of unusually heavy drinking the normally docile mooky begins to heroically try 2 shatter the unintentional comedy scale
its 12 degrees and 2 am lets get the hell outta here im gonna drop dead of pneumonia
son of a bitches SON OF A BITCHES THESE KRAUTS FROM WISCONSIN SONS OF BITCHES THEY SHOULD LET ME IN THEIR ROOMS WISCONSIN IS PART OF THE CONFEDERACY
4 HOURS AND 57 MINUTES LATER Hes still nice and fired up and has spit about 6 quarts of saliva all over himself from spitting after takin each sip of his arizona iced tea
id be here but i refuse to do homework realistically i should teach classe at nyu but youre still not makin a bit of sense
YOURE TELLIN ME YOU DONT BELONG IN NYU AND I DONT BELONG HERE EITHER BUT THESE QUEERS DO THEY JERK OFF THEIR TEACHERS TO GET GOOD GRADES they should let me in I JUST WANNA KNOCK ON RANDOM DOORS
after settling down suddenly and rather unexpectedly mooky finally enters the dorm after 6 hours of me telling him 2 go inside or go the hell home altho it seemed nyu had won the 1st round the war was
IM NYU SECURITY & I DONT KNOW A THING ABOUT TRANSFERS OR TUITION BUT THE TUITION FOR YOU HAS GOTTA BE AT LEAST 40,000 A DAY HYUK HYUK HYUK HYUK
bitch bastards wait till i get drunk again and come back w/ even worse absurdites NECROPHELIA KNWTMN LOLOL

 

by hbombs
3-08-05
me mike h has just told mooky of his grand plans of striplclubbin and drunken bar hopping
OF COURSE HE WILL WHY SHOULDNT HE?
AHH YES but will alesci come?
mike hatches his plans but much to his chagrin it doesnt fly as expected
SO ARE YOU IN OR ARE YOU IN NAKED BROADS AND A WEEKEND OF DANCIN AND DRINKIN
WHOA DADDYO IM SURE THATS GONNA BE A GROOVY TIME BUT MY SCENE IS MORE LIKE A SWINGIN POETRY JAM IN THE VILLAGE AND A NICE HOT FRESH MUSHROOM... AH RIIZZO TOE. FAR OUT HEP CATS
THE VERDICT IS DELIVERED TO MOOKY
HE EHH DIDNT GO FOR IT DID HE
THAT LOUSY BEATNICK

 

by hbombs
3-08-05
ME mike h has just told mooky of his grand plans for a weekend of clubbing stripclubbing and rowdy drunkenness
AH YES but will joey come?
OF COURSE HE WILL why shouldnt he
MIKE attempts to hatch his plans but much to his chagrin they dont fly as expected
SO ARE YOU IN, NAKED BROADS AND A WEEKEND OF DANCIN DRINKIN AND CAROUSING
whoa daddyo im sure thats gonna be a swingin time but my scene is more like a groovy poetry jam in the village and a nice, hot, FRESH, mushroom.... AH rizzo toe. far out hep cats
THE VERDICT IS DELIVERED TO MOOKY
HE EHH didnt go for it one bit did he
that lousy beatnick

 

by hbombs
3-10-05
SOCIAL SECURITY ISNT REALLY IN THE CRISIS BUSH CLAIMS but dont say anything too loudly or else...
HEEEE HAW ITS HIGH TIME I DO A ROOTIN TOOTIN REVAMP OF SOCIAL SECURITY JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF TOLD ME TO
HEY u wanna cool it a second there brash gordon when the hell do i ever talk 2 u, save the times i beg u 2 leave me out of your crap
THE DEVIL getting a HUGE kick out of this because...well hes the devil
haha looks like your buddy bush has you tangled up in another 1 of his messes
yea right "MY BUDDY"
a final appeal 2 logic and reason WHICH FAILS MISERABLY
hang out a dawgone minute lawng hair,beard sandals,MIDDLE EASTERN COMPLEXION!!! WHO THE HELL LET U PAST AIRPORT SECURITY CHAAARGE
LISTEN ITS BAD ENOUGH you use my name and say i help you "govern" if thats what you call the mess you make on a yearly basis but why scare people with a fake social security cri....UGH sucha dope

 

by hbombs
3-10-05
OUR RAPPER FRIEND IS FIRING THE OPENING SALVO OF OUR FUED
YO CHICKITY CHECK IT MY RHYMES IS THE FLYEST AND WHEN I SEE THAT SUCKA IN THE STREET IMA BLAST HIS ASS
EVEN I KNOW HES FULL OF BEANS AND IM A GODDAM MICROPHONE
not to be outdone our other rapper friend fires back
THIS ALL SEEMS SO FAMILIAR
I HATE HIS GUTS I HOPE HE DIES AND WHEN I SEE HIM ILL STAB HIM IN THE EYES
after a good minute of uncomfortable silence outside of hot 97 the fued comes to a head
WOW this is really awkward. and im pretty sure i peed myself a little......TRUCE?
OMYGOD i was just thinkin the same thing...truce it is! now give me a big kiss on the lips

 

by hbombs
3-15-05
THIS IS AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION WHICH TOOK PLACE SAT NIGHT ON THE WAY TO A BAR
JEEESUS CHRIST do you know what i could do with my own place?
i dunno mook... masturbate at the dinner table?
now mooky and joey envision the possibilities
AAAAAAABSOLUTELY HEELS ON THE TABLE ONE ON EACH SIDE OF A POT ROAST DINNER
THE GROOVY THING IS ITS SOMETHIN IVE THOUGHT OF TOO
these are the people i hang out with
i tell ya one thing THAT WHITE STUFFF WOULDNT BE MASHED POTATOES ON THE SIDE HA HA
THIS WAS ONE FOR THE RECORD BOOKS

 

by hbombs
3-16-05
ME and MOOKY chatting about alescis choice of dream "girls" and ideal stripclub
SO JOEYS 3064TH dream girl was a SPECTACULAR FAILURE
what the hell do you expect THE KID THINKS THE SEXIEST STRIPCLUB WOULD BE BROADS IN SPORTSBRAS AND SHORTS
MOOKY... gods gift to subtle humor
SPEAKING OF LACK OF COMMON SENSE how bout his lastdream "girl" i thought the adams apple would have been a dead giveaway
AHHHH CUZ IT WASNT A BROAD AT ALL WAS IT HAHA
stay tuned for more glimpses into the REALM OF ABSURDITY
WELL i wonder what now....
i dunno but i venture to say this isnt the last weve heard of this KNOWATIMEAN**

 

by hbombs
3-16-05
me taking a look inside to discuss my true character with joey
ya know every1 sees this version of me
yea cool cat and ladies man
i believe every1 has many facets to themselves like fine diamonds
yea but thats not the real/complete me its more of a caricature than any1 knows like me using a beatnick 2 represent you
wow man thats deep
will i or any1 ever know who i really am?
then again when your this handsome and cool i guess this kinda sexy lady friendly personality comes naturally BWAHAHA
dammit we almost had somethin really there too,.....goddam prettyboy

 

by hbombs
3-20-05
arriving at avalon at 1130 my sister ria begins drinkin with the wristband i gave her with magnificent results
i just ordered a hypnotiq and they always get me drunk
the Alcoholic apple doesnt fall too far from the tree ive got more sheets to the wind than the spanish armada
after inhaling her hypnotiq she begins to resemble dear old bro
III AM DRUNK DRUNK YOU HEAR ME DRUNK I HAD TAPE IN MY BRA TO TAPE THE WRISTBAND YOU GAVE ME
IVE BEEN DANCIN ON THIS POLE 4 AN HOUR U WANNA STEP UP NOW? I JUST KNOCKED A TABLE OVER
AFTER AVALON ria screaming at the bewilderd owner of the next door pizza place and mooky continuing his uncharacteristic bid in a tight race for comedy mvp of the night
THIS PLACE IS A GOLD MINE GET DRUNK PEOPLE LIKE ME TO PAY $3 A SLICE FOR PIZZA IM DRUNK AND THIS PLACE IS A GOLD MINE
HHAAAAAA WAY TO TALK MARKETING WITH THE GUY KNOWATIMEAN

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