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| It's time for our newest feature: Andy's Review Corner! Today's film: Captain Corelli's Mandolin. | |
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| Right! In this film, Nicolas Cage manages to look bigger and dumber than usual as he lumbers across a small Greek Island circa 1940. | |
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| We're led to believe that this soldier in Mussolini's army commands a cadre of cuddly, harmless minstrels. | |
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| But in reality, Cage's phony accent and stilted performance waged a cruel and relentless assault on my ability to stay awake. | |
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| I see. But what I think our readers would really like to know is -- did you enjoy the film? | |
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| Oh that -- loved it! Hey, you think that line about Cage's performance was cutting enough? | |
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