All comics by jagjava

 

Swept Away to Heaven by jagjava 10-04-06
I did everything you said to do Jesus, so why am I still here? Look at me man! How can I save you in this position! Help me down already!	hmmmm. If I help you down are you going to take me to heaven? Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise	hmm... not what I had in mind! I could turn the water in to wine first.

 

Swept up to heaven II by jagjava 10-04-06
Hey, Jesus, Dude... I ain't no angel but I need to get me to heaven. Have you repented my son?	Sho, sho I repainted... I repainted all dem bitches, repainted their faces bloody. Then you shall not enter my father's Kingdom! *Kabooom*	Welcome to Hell Praise Jesuz! Look at all dem bitches! I *am* in heaven! You seem to have the wrong idea... You are *my* bitch now!! hahaha!!

 

Repent by jagjava 10-04-06
Can I take your order sir? I order you to turn aside from your wicked ways and repent!	Ummmm, I don't think we have that here sir, this is a Multi-million $ capitalistic corporation that exploits its workers by offering only minimum wage part time employment to avoid paying benefits. Oh. I see. We'll I'll just order an"Elation Meal" then.	Good choice! Would you like the made-in-maylasia-by-a-6-year-old-daughter-of-a-prostitute-who-is-beaten-by-the-factory-owner-for-not-working-fast-enough-three cent-plastic toy to go with it? on second thought, I'll just go pick a carrot from the lot next door.

 

I have risen by jagjava 10-04-06
I have risen... yeah... that's a pretty good trick... but can you do this...	yayayayayaya!	back to the drawing board Guess I'm bigger than Jesus now!

 

Smokin Zetas by jagjava 10-04-06
Saturday Morning 10am Zertok, do you think we will blend in amoungst the humans once we get tans? According to my calculations, the power of earth's sun is equal to .535684 of our sun, so we have to tan for exactly ....	Saturday Afternoon 3pm whoosh yeowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww whoosh yeoooooooooooow	Don't tell me, let me guess...you forgot to factor in the time difference again! D'OH!!

 

Second Attempt by jagjava 10-04-06
Ok, lets try this again... are you sure you have the calculations right this time? Yes I'm sure... there should be no problem now.	Later OMG... do I smell...BACON??? Gasp!	Alright, whose the wise guy? There's a policeman standing right behind me, isn't there?

 

Revenge by jagjava 10-04-06
hey what are you doing?	practising my moves why?	Revenge, for what happended yesterday help

 

Blind Date by jagjava 10-04-06
so um....thanks for agreeing to go on this blind date with me, Joanna. Oh and of course little Simon too. whatever	You know, its real important to me that you like little Simon too, you know, when I move you in with me and mother. I'm allergic	Did I mention I make $150,000 year? pass the benedryl

 

JW's by jagjava 10-04-06
Good Morning ma'am, I'm here to talk about God's plan for humankind... uh huh, one sec...	Thurston, its for you...	Good Morning, I'm here to talk about God's plan for human...uh, animal kind... *woof*

 

Proof by jagjava 10-04-06
Good Morning, I'm here to show you proof that Jesus died on a torture stake not a cross... eh? What's that you say sonny? I'm hard of hearing...	JESUS, I'm talking about JESUS!! oh, oh ok... Jesus, its for you.	Good Morning Sir, I'm here to show you proof that... oh dear... Yes?

 

Revenge 2 by jagjava 10-04-06
ok, i'm ready to fight... I have also been training!	Ok! Bring it on! Wait! lemme have my Red Bull first...	After his Red Bull..... help WHAT!?

 

Revenge 3 by jagjava 10-04-06
ok, you had your Red Bull... now let's fight ok	DIE!!!	I hate you soooo Much right now... heh heh heh!

 

Revenge 4 by jagjava 10-04-06
hah! I killed you!	huh?	uh-oh! ok, 50 years in Jail, Tyler

 

Final Attempt by jagjava 10-05-06
ok, this will be our final attempt yes, and it will happen right.... NOW!		well you turned out nicely you.... not so much

 

vegetarians by jagjava 10-05-06
I hate how vegetarians are always griping about hurting animals! I know!! As if what they eat is any better!	Tell me about it!! Plants are living things too!! Exactly, Do they care about the torture a tomato goes through? nooooooooooooooo!!	Egads man, what did you do?!? Whatt? I just came back from making a salad!!

 

The beauty of not having a cam by jagjava 10-06-06
So sara said blah blah blah.... which lead me to believe that she wants to break up... on the other hand what if she doesn't what if....so then I said .... and she told me I was neurotic... uh huh	I mean can you believe that? Me? Neurotic? So I imed Jason quickly....he said .... which lead me to believe that Sara was lying before when she said... *sigh*	2 hours later... So now I'm wondering...should I be the one to break up with her or...I mean, what if she's the only woman in the world to put up with me? What if...Carol? You get dropped? *buzz* *BUZZ*helloooooooooo? Carol, your Yahoo! messenger is on fire!

 

cosmetic surgery by jagjava 10-06-06
...and in entertainment news, Bethany Shears undergoes cosmetic surgery . In an interview, Shears claimed "I just want to look like I did before the ravishes of childbirth destroyed my body...	I think the surgery was a success, I've worked hard and long to restore Ms. Shears to her youthful appearance, she is recovering well. Joining us in the studio is Ms. Shears... how do you feel?	I feel great...at least 20 years younger, and the best part is, I can save money by sharing clothes with my kids. oi vay

 

Teenscreen terror by jagjava 10-06-06
Hey, did you hear about the new Teenscreen program at school? Apparently we are all going to be "tested" to see how close we are to snapping? Great!! Its not enough that we have peer pressure, pressure to perform but now we have "am I going psycho" pressure too?	Yeah, and the questions on the test are skewed in a way that, heck man, every man woman and child in America would answer affirmative to. Egads! And what will they do with the ones they deem to be "unstable?"	Drugs man, Drugs! I guess Teenscreen will be taking over the offices of the now-defunct Anti-Drug Association!

 

stripcreator addiction by jagjava 10-06-06
Honey, I want my dinner! Ok, just a sec, I have a great idea for a comic...	Mom, you said you'd help me sew my costume for the Halloween Dance I'm coming... I'm writing another comic... this one's really funny!	Honey, I've been away at rehab for the past 6 months, Sylvia's graduated from highschool when are you going to get off stripcreator.com? Not now... this next comic will be my ticket to a 5 star rating! Weeeehaawwww!!

 

Father Faux Pas by jagjava 10-06-06
So God walks into a bar and orders a "sex on the beach" ?	and says "I guess this as as close as I'll ever come" hehe ummm you know God's my father, right?	oh.crap. why do I even bother?

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