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| "Once there was a young man who attended Oxford university, then became the youngest ever Tory MP in 1969" | |
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| "In the 70's he becomes a successful businessman and critically acclaimed author" | |
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| "Libelous rumours about his private life are proved false in court in 1987, thanks to his honest friends" | |
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| "Again, the man's character is brought on trial in 2000, but his faithful secretary saves his bacon." | |
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| "Accused of perjury and lying to court, he escapes scott-free and writes the account in a successful book! The End!" Ha, another best-seller! | |
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| You really are a lying sack of shit, Lord Archer! Now, lights out! | |
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