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| 300 jobs are to be created at an Essex manufacturing concern this week. | |
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| A spokesman for the firm attributed the rise in buttplug sales to recent sightings of a manraping robot in Epping Forest. | |
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| In other news, Wendy, you're a slag, and you were crap in bed. | |
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| Richard, you've got a tiny dick. Deal with it. And now, here's today's weather, with Le Chef... | |
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| Dans le Grand Bretagne, le pompt du la pisse de Le Dieu! Sauvages! | |
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