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| This just in, the IRA has finally destroyed all of its stockpile of Cemtex and Armalites. | |
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| We cross now live to Gerald Futtock in West Belfast. | |
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| Well, we never used them ones anyway, our preferred weapon of choice today is the broken brieze block and baseball bat. | |
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| Additionally we've seen local gangs of youths throwing petrol bombs as well as stones at the police. | |
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| WHAT? Those wee dickheads! Do they not know how much that stuff COSTS? | |
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