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| HI! I'M MEL, THE SATANIC-POSESSESSED PHONE! I'M HERE WITH AN IMPORTANT PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT! | |
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| CONTRARY TO THE STORIES FLOATING AROUND, TRISTAN IS *NOT*, I REPEAT *NOT* GAY. HE LIKES WOMEN! I SWEAR THAT TRISTAN IS COMPLETELY HETEROSEXUAL! | |
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| BUT THEN AGAIN, I AM THE PRINCE OF LIES.... | |
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