All comics by jpegslut

 

by jpegslut
6-13-02
It was Tuesday when Iggy the prick-headed gopher stumbled upon the Son of God...
Precisely
Jesus f*****g Christ!
Pull up a pew & tell me about that cock on your head
Richard Gere uses me as his butt-plug

 

by jpegslut
6-13-02
*sniff*
mummy it smells of hammers

 

by jpegslut
6-13-02
Kneel before Lucifer!
Sorry, but you're a Judaic concept & are thus completely irrelevant to me
Don't turn your back on Satan. I will make you suffer for eternity. I fucking own you!
*sigh*
bitch

 

by jpegslut
6-13-02
Please guvnor, two quid for a bag of nuts. I promise I won't squander it on meths like last time
God, I fucking hate squirrels
Please guv, I've got four kids to feed
Fuck right off

 

by jpegslut
6-14-02
I've won a million on the lottery, pack your bags
Ooh brilliant! Where are we going?
Just pack your bags, hurry up!
Are we going somewhere nice & sunny?
Pack your bags & fuck off

 

by jpegslut
6-14-02
Yo momma's so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book
Yo momma's so fat she fell in love and broke it
Yo momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born, her mom said "What a treasure!" and her dad said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo momma's so miserable, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals.
Yo momma's lips are so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.

 

by jpegslut
6-15-02
Ulysses derides Prometheus
Submit to me, for I am the almighty Virtual Schneider, king of kings: Look on my works ye mighty and despair!
/++D0od 1 0w|\|0rZ j00!!11_//+
eggs
'meaning' mistaken for 'purpose'... mumble... if i had the body of a japanese schoolgirl... blah blah...
it's like that visual perception diagram where you either see two faces or a vase... but it's not a vase, it's the holy grail... the charged space where we interact... we are the space around us...
Correct your heart in order to correct your sword
fucks sake i wouldn't mind a piece of her gary
i'm a fucking telepath you cunt

 

by jpegslut
6-16-02
02:30 *beep* *beep*
i am so angry with my wife & son...
senator palmer, this is jack bauer. don't trust anyone with an east european accent & wearing giorgio armani!
05:45, split screen mayhem
mom *sob* are we going to get out of this alive? why do i like so want to lose my viginity to that cute guy who kidnapped me?
jack, this is CTU, i'm not a double agent even though my facial hair & stern expression suggest otherwise
57:39 *tick* *tick*
jack, i'm not sure who to trust any more
nina, just do as i say you bulimic, coke-head piece of LA flotsam! & didn't i see you in one of channel 5's late night softcore efforts?

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