All comics by jrk301

 

by jrk301
6-05-08
How is it that Billy Ray Cyrus is now, again, popular?
I wouldn't consider hosting the new TV show: "Nashville Star" a return to popularity...
You remember "Achy Breaky Heart"?
oh...
He should have been burned at the stake!!

 

by jrk301
6-05-08
Later...
Bob really likes to make fairly obvious comments about the Cyrus family.
Did you know that Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana are the same person?
YOU TOO?

 

by jrk301
6-05-08
Everyone in the office is obsessed with the Cyrus family.
Little do they know of Mr. Cyrus' stepson Trace Cyrus who fronts electronic pop/rock band Metro Station!

 

by jrk301
6-05-08
I heard the boss was so busy obsessing over some pop-country star that he was too busy to pay us last week.
We get paid here?

 

by jrk301
6-06-08
This world is so backwards: you can buy crack, smack, pap, dope, mope, PCP, you can get money laundered.
You can buy prostitutes, guns, you can rig gambling games, kill kittens, extort money, lie, cheat, steal, rip tags off mattresses...
But you can't go to the store and copy a key that says "Do Not Copy"!
Did I hear you say something about "smack, pap, and dope"?

 

by jrk301
6-06-08
Pierre the Office Worker In ...
"Rogue Key Copying for Fun and Profit"
I need to find someone to copy this key for me.

 

by jrk301
6-06-08
Meanwhile back at the office,
Do you know anyone that works at Lowes, Home Depot, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Walgreens, or other fine chain hardware stores?
No, but I know people in gangs, syndicates, the mafia, the mob, and a few Hell's Angels...
Do you need somebody offed?

 

by jrk301
6-06-08
Meanwhile, at a fine restaurant...
My life sucks. I'm not getting paid at the office, my dog died, my wife left me.
Hi, my name is Helga. I'll be taking care of you tonight. What would you like? Our specials are beef with a side of beef, and cornbread. Our drink special is beef stew.
I'll have the chicken fingers.
Sir, we ran out of chicken fingers about 3 minutes ago.
IT'S ALL OVER FOR ME!

 

by jrk301
6-06-08
Pierre gives his "do not copy" key to the clerk at K-Mart-Wal-Mart-Or-Another-Similar-Store-Add-The-Store-Of-Your-Choice-Here
So I have this, uh, key, and I need a, uh, copy ... of it?
This key here? Oh, my. I need to get my manager.
The manager is not a happy guy.
I, the manager, am not a happy guy.
I, the clerk, am also not happy with your criminal request.
I'm in trouble, aren't I?
A little bit.

 

by jrk301
6-06-08
Have you been working out lately?
Uh, well, I guess so...
I saw your bicep.

 

by jrk301
6-06-08
Have you been going to the gym lately?
no.
I saw your belly.

 

by jrk301
6-07-08
Want some vitamin water (tm)?
No way. Too, too, too many calories... for water
Well it's not water. It's a beverage that has some sort of, taste, a little bit of flavor I guess?
But I can have calorie-free water!
It's not water.
You really fooled me by the whole Vitamin WATER brand. Next time I see Macaroni and Cheese I'll expect a dead fish in the box.

 

by jrk301
6-08-08
I need a new computer. I cannot play my favourite video game with a proper level of performance.
Why? What game?
The Oregon Trail, copyright 1992 by MECC games.
I thought you had a new computer?
Well I need a chip which simulates the experience of having an 8-bit computer with no monitor. That takes a lot of computing power.
That's right. I had to do the same thing to make my Ferrari drive like a horse and buggy the other day...

 

by jrk301
6-19-08
Today in the office we will be holding a conference on "simplifying and streamlining the workplace"
What does this involve?
We have hired an outside strategic management consortium to provide three hierarchically organized plenary groups. We have holographic projectors and french coffee.
Oh, let me get my pen. Are there pens provided?
Pens didn't make it to the budget.
Feels more streamlined already.

 

by jrk301
6-28-08
It's midnight. You're still here?
I have to work some extra shifts to pay off the $3,000 fine I got for trying to copy a key which said "Do Not Copy" on it.
Sounds like quite an ordeal.
I had a court date, witnesses, and they made ... a copy of the key as evidence .... and gave it to me ... to keep.
Sounds like justice is blind.
Blind, lame AND stupid, actually...

 

by jrk301
7-23-08
Tragically, the power goes out in the office! This doesn't stop our heroes' mindless drivel. We listen in...
I got a 75% pay cut. But I am too legit. Too legit to quit.
"Legitimacy" is an either/or type thing. You are either legitimate or not.
But... but there are levels!
It's like the word "off." The light is either on or off. This light is off. It is not REALLY off or KINDA off it's just off.
Oh, I think I understand. Like asshole. You are just an asshole.
I think I'm only slightly an asshole, actually...

 

by jrk301
3-22-11
We're back after a 3 year hiatus! And everything is exactly the same. The characters, the backgrounds, the stupid jokes about Miley Cyrus...
Hey... um....
I mean, it's like we never left! Absolutely. No. Changes. To the comic. At all.
Juliet!
What?!
We were never in the comic before!

 

by jrk301
3-22-11
Comics That Don't Age Well Comics
Friday! Friday! Yesterday was Thursday, Today is Friday, Tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday follows afterwards!
Oh no, not you too. Don't you realize everyone is just making fun of that girl?
I suppose you have something better to sing?
Why yes I do, Juliet. ::ehem:: "Baby baby baby"
Good grief!
"Baby" is right up there with the fifth symphony. It really is pure genius.

 

by jrk301
3-22-11
The Previous Comic Didn't Need a Sequel But I Don't Have Any Better Ideas Right Now Comics
I can't believe that Cleopatra has Bieber Fever...
Well I can't believe that I created a character named Cleopatra...
I wonder if people had Elvis Smallpox? Rolling Stones Yellow Fever? ABBA Sphyllis? Oh there you are!
Oh I was just compiling notes for my thesis on Manet. Fancy a cup of tea and some lady finger sandwiches?
How wrong was I! Never judge a book by its cover.
... then we can get drunk!

Showing page 1.